Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol
carleigh2424 0
Hahahhaaaaa!:)
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Comments (308)
fadingaway 17
What does it mean in the US?
Spastastic 6
Ass.
APenguin 0
Ass
Arsonnist 3
Fan.
NickK49 0
penis ****
Ifeelyou 0
butt
BrendanR 0
your moms ass
Hiznacious 0
rectum
SmallTownCutie 0
bootay(;
unhappypixie 4
ur butt
WTFreversed 5
an arse
Zabimaru_fml 0
it means ass and most people in US dont think anything of talking about their ass
beeship321 5
a fanny in north America means ur ass
skyttlz 32
Gluteas Maximus, glutes, booty, hiney etc.
lulu2122 3
butt/ass
verrronica 7
lmao. that's pretty awesome.
Graawr 7
LOL. that would make me go bright red. D:
cloud_strife_ 0
Mmmm... fish 'n' chips.
NickK49 0
God dammit Zack fair is better than cloud!
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
They're both cool in their own way.
Spastastic 6
I find this absolutely hilarious. Thankfully, if I go to visit my cousin in the UK (I actually do have a cousin who lives there), I already know that slang... Plus I don't really ever say the word fanny anyway...
tiger69 0
did your cousin visit from the 1930s??? no one in the U.S. uses the word "fanny" when talking about their butt
WiseGuy79 14
So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol
Snow_Daisy 7
haha "****** packs"
NickK49 0
win. N'uff said
Opinyun8ed 0
lol. nice win!
WeaponsOfMassDDD 0
so im wondering what DO they call fanny packs? my grandpa still wears one :/ idk where the hell he even buys them
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
No we don't. We call them Bum Bags.
catatonicsleep 17
i never understood why they are named after the ass region when they are worn on the stomach...
WTFreversed 5
what's a fanny pack?
me_is_lala 2
haha :P
maskedman 9
Actually, canatonicsleep, they are made to be worn the fanny (north American translation) when they are not in use. Just think of the way bikers (pedals) wear them.
ladyluck82 9
26 - wiseguy79 - you're hot. lol. and no. they don't use faint packs there. haha. Then again, who does??? the 1980's called...lmao
Fabby_fml 2
Fanny pack seems to have a disturbing new meaning now, doesn't it? x__x
bugmenotmofo 34
Now see, in amercica, a Bum Bag is something you trap a hobo in.
cab227 2
that's what I was thinking
lizzie57 19
I call it a fanny pack though I have learnt something new...I had no idea that was the american term for it. I assumed it was called fanny pack cos it is worn over the fanny, ie ******. now I feel foolish...
JaketheSnake54 0
Learn something new everyday!
zoraman5 3
just as pants = underwear in UK
km92_fml 1
what does fanny mean in the US? :S
lotuspod 0
fanny in America = ass