Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol
carleigh2424 0
Hahahhaaaaa!:)
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Comments (308)
nerdwithagun 0
Maybe she knew what it meant, and she COULDN'T find any clothes to fit around her huge fanny.
AzWolf 5
maybe those living in the uk should learn the difference between the two words!
MetalFish 0
It was an American who got it wrong, not an English girl. I think you've got mixed up at somepoint there :)
JustJess666 0
but still if we, Americans, must learn the differences shouldn't they?? I'm just saying it goes both ways.
MetalFish 0
I know what fanny meant in both nations. I also know an "ass" in England is a type of donkey and not your arse (which is your bum) also, crisps are called chips in America. and chips are called fries... also, I know that it's color, honor, neighbor in America (rather than our "Colour, Honour, Neighbour) and our date goes DAY / MONTH / YEAR and yours goes MONTH / DAY / TEAR for some random reason :) I'm not saying I know EVERY difference, but I'm not ignorant to the differences... and you'll probably find most English people are aware thanks to films and TV we get here (A lot of it is American) :p
MetalFish 0
YEAR* xD
JustJess666 0
I'm not saying I don't know this either. but some people don't. Americans are kinda self absorbed and think it's all about them and their language is the only one to use words and that everyone knows the meaning. but then again english and other languages in other countries have some of the same words and different meanings. some English don't know that we have different ways of speaking and that we don't know your ways. sorry if this doesn't make any sense.
Phoenix1023 3
YDI for using that BS "here in the UK this means that" excuse. Call things what they are. Not an FML.
HappyPickles 11
... I'm interested. "call things what they are"... And what, in this instances, are the words that should be used to call these things as they are? Almost every culture has slang for various body parts - it's just that the slang changes over time, and sometimes over geography.
xohockeyfreak10x 0
well you learn something everyyydayyy(; thatss funny thoughh lol ;D
my_user_name 7
Your life is not ******... that's hilarious! Laugh at your friend and move on.
bugmenotmofo 34
I have a huge "fanny" too... uk version
lordloss1 1
America: Fat and stupid.
dmaster400 3
haha ROFL!!!
CallMeHush 1
fanny fanny fanny is there an echo in here? it is huge enough.
WickedWendigoX 0
rub my fanny for me? :)