Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol
carleigh2424 0
Hahahhaaaaa!:)
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Comments (308)
carm3nl1 0
I have a good friend names Fanny. I will never say her name the same way again..:/
zombiekitten87 12
first off, who from the us says 'fanny' anymore unless they're like, 90? second, isn't fanny a woman's name used in the uk?
misfitSuperStar 0
I had a Great Aunt Fanny. She was born in the 1920s. I'd change my name if my parents had named me that!!
catatonicsleep 17
i don't think it's used as a name any more
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
"Dick" is still a name too, despite its slang usage.
Spastastic 6
I always wonder why anyone named Richard CHOOSES to go by Dick nowadays...
mintcar 10
Seriously, nobody even uses the word "fanny" anymore.
hotair10 9
I find this freaking hilarious XD
bbyychula710 0
lmfaooo omqoshhh !!!! thats embarrasinq
some1azn 0
People were probably wondering "How huge is that Yank's fanny?" LOL
thekingofkings1 0
that's great made my day
c2hx3 0
LOL that's hilarious
avoidthegirl 6
What kind of idiot American uses the word "fanny" to describe their butt? Maybe it's a southern thing; who knows. I've never heard ANYONE use that term on the west coast.
homicidaltendenc_fml 0
It's not a southern thing, we don't use different words..... It's an old people thing, and some people who are too stuck up to say "ass" use it too.
KYLAsaysRAWR 0
it's not a southern thing : I don't think I've heard anyone under 75 say it :)
JustJess666 0
it's not a southern thing Hun. it's an old people thing. ya know people over the age of 60 say it all of the time. it's kinda like saying britches... who says that? old people!! I've live in the south and the west so r has nothing to do with your location.
UndiscoveredChao 0
Why must everyone perceive the South as slow or different. Sure some of us may have a drawl...but that does not by any means make us stupid or different. We just grew up more laid back than other places. I have only ever heard fanny used by my grandparents. Its most definitely old slang for people who think saying ass us bad. Well ass ass ass. End of story.
imright24 0
Not an FML. Anyone that heard her also heard her accent.
catatonicsleep 17
Yeah they would have heard her accent, doesn't mean they know that it means something else in the US
JustJess666 0
just like she didn't know. cut her a break god damn!