Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML
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Top comments
FlaminYawn 0
My dick cost a late night fee, your dick got the HIV
cherlana32 0
I love that song!
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Comments (125)
swimtilyoudrown 0
Ouch. But the song is awesome so I kinda understand why your cousin won't stop singing.
itschris 0
Ydi for having that song on your iPod that song is retarted lOl I imagine her singing it in front of her mom ; good luck W| that. And fyl cause my lil sister takes my iPod w| out me knowing and listen to ALL THE MUSIC.
ah_09 0
ydi for listening to a song called my dick. especially while there`s a four year old there. should have just paused it while you want to the bathroom. poor kid.
carrots38 0
ydi for listening to that crap, and just get another song stuck in her head, 4 year olds forget about things quickly
flying_vegan 0
YDI for liking Mickey Avalon.
AntiChrist7 0
1) it's a worthless song 2) never leave stuff like that with little children, they usually break it
RogueDude 0
hahaha.. i just had to sign up for an account just to comment on this! seriously YDI! but i do find the song pretty funny, i had just downloaded it a few days ago as a matter of fact..
epicwinmaster 0
seriously... if you have those kinds of songs on your ipod, why would you leave it around little kids? ps YDI for having an ipod shuffle
_Underscore 0
He said he left his iPod on shuffle mode. That's not the same as an iPod Shuffle. But I agree, OP was stupid to put it on shuffle with a little kid there. YDI.
EKKM 0
So you left your 4 year old cousin alone and something inappropriate happened so you leave her alone again to post on FML. YDI for not learning your lesson.
shellybean87 0
Don't leave your stuff around your little cousins. My 9 year old cousion broke my one month old laptop
idontfkincare 0
my dick is like a bridge yo dick is like a little kids