Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML
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Top comments
FlaminYawn 0
My dick cost a late night fee, your dick got the HIV
cherlana32 0
I love that song!
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Comments (125)
LaitsGo 0
ahha, freaken love that song . my dick got a ceased due. tour dick needs a tweezer, dude :)
kathrynclw 0
haha this song is awesome :)
ginormica 0
hilarious!!!
sincerely331 0
That song is hilarious! I first heard it on harold & kumar escape from Guantamo Bay
nseman94 0
funniest song ever. too bad a four year old heard it. lmfao
ifetayo 2
I said FYL because that is my song! hopefully she'll forget? ... :/
easymac11 0
My dick , bigger than a bridge your dick look like a little kids :)
Undead4life 1
My dick large like the Chargers the whole team, yo shit look like your 14
Richspartan372 1
****** boss awesome song right there, the younger generation needs some culture like that. Kudos, my friend, kudos.
bagleface 6
Yo dick got the HIV