Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML
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Top comments
FlaminYawn 0
My dick cost a late night fee, your dick got the HIV
cherlana32 0
I love that song!
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Comments (125)
loveadicts 0
fyl but good job on the song, mickey avalon is the best and i dont even listen to that kind of music, normally!
TheThrasher_fml 0
me and my 6 year old nephew listen to venom all the time i teach him to swear and hail satan cuz its good for the ******
catchthisdrift 0
you rock for playing mickey avalon period. teach her to jane fonda next.
crimson_smurf 0
yeah you so deserve it for listening to that crap
skgirl 0
haha wow thats FML yet so funny haha......my boy friend sings that:p
gabman 0
ahahaha that song makes me LOL
oopsie_daisy8446 0
i know that song!!!!! eek, tell them if they sing it they'll go to JAIL. works everytime.
omgwtflolz 0
ydi for leaving ur ipod on shuffle
mikel81 0
You deserve it for having gay shit on your ipod. And for leaving a 4yr old unattended. lol
blondebutterfly8 5
Serves you right for listening to that kind of music.