Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML
Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
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Top comments
nelds 12
Haha your dad sounds funny.
roseXthorns 8
Hopefully she didn't impale you with razor sharp claws.
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Comments (100)
Jewnut 0
my cat has woken me up by clawing my nose. twice. no laser involved. she was going for my peaceful fluttering eyes
luckyd880 12
I doubt he could get two fmls posted. Hard enough to get one! Guess my life just isn't ****** enough....? Ya I guess that's a good thing.
_overandout_ 10
He deserves a spoonfull of whoop-ass
vicky_reoow 1
"WTF DAD! GET THIS PUSSY OFF OF ME!"
aljen90 2
This morning my cat woke me up by clawing my family jewels, thank the Lord that I'm not castrated
MerrikBarbarian 9
Oh cats... I have so many scars from them but I love them anyways. Enjoy life with your remaining eye, assuming you didn't look I to the laser with that too.
Zeldasherolink 0
I think he just wanted to see some pussy on his daughters face
hecallsmedarlin 7
Why is there always this one immature pervert that always has to turn something completely irrelevant to sex into something sexual? Shame on you. You should learn to act like an adult.
Kibaruto 33
After I read this FML I felt it. That must have been a lovely wake up call. Op, next time ask your dad nicely if he could allow you to use an alarm clock instead.
azrael_xx 14
Planning your revenge sounds like fun :)
pbonham 22
Cats are funny ^.^