Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot, while whispering, "Jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML
Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
If the dog is wearing a parachute, then it could be magical. A dog gliding off a cliff slowly without a care in the world.
Jacobt24 19
I suggest watching your dog very carefully from now on
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Comments (103)
mrahhhhh 21
Next time, right after you see her do that, tug your dog's foot and say, "When you go anywhere she says, take her with you."
SluggerJ 7
Your mom hates all mammals which means she hate herself. You should tell her this OP.
manictuesday 0
what?
bizarre_ftw 22
Lol, record her doing that, then make a video of yourself in which you aren't easily identifiable and smash something she holds dear. Then just stand in front of the camera with a sign that says "sorry, that [plate?] annoyed me so I thought that was a good enough reason to kill it. You use similar logic right?" then play the video in front of her and the rest of the family but never tell anyone it was you.
BelleBelle_fml 11
I think not.
andromeda335 9
Dumb idea
Nikelopez 11
It be a shame if he actually did it
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Your mom is evil! Poor doggie.
livlifelaugh7 4
are u going to call the animal abuse hotline or should I;)
zukinihudini 0
Deadbolt on some sort of splint with poison spikes on it so no one dares to tug her leg
Chigagigaroo 0
How very gullible.
justo84 2
Shows how retarded your mom is
zaveeshaveesh3 7
At least she wasn't telling it to go down on her