Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot, while whispering, "Jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Road rage
Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML
Wake up bark
Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML
Beast Mode
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
If the dog is wearing a parachute, then it could be magical. A dog gliding off a cliff slowly without a care in the world.
Jacobt24 19
I suggest watching your dog very carefully from now on
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
tennischik211 11
What's up with these FMLs implying that the parents don't like dogs?
SGT_DBL 15
Not just not liking the dogs either... there seem to be a lot of recent FMLs with parents plotting to kill pets, or intentionally getting rid of pets or some other sinister plot. Maybe its the economy?
DrFuzzyNuts 0
op please tell your mom she is a bad parent after you let her read this.
bankrupt 15
She is probably sick of the dog's smell/mess/barking/licking/chewing/jumping/expense/consumption of her time and wants it the **** out of her house. The problem with dogs is that they require so much attention. If she is working and running a house, then the last thing she needs is a dirty dog sucking up her time and messing her house. I have a lot of friends whose families wanted dogs and who got stuck with all the care? The mom, the person who is already doing the most in the house. Every one of these women would like to wring their dogs' necks. They are just another nuisance for these women. OP, if your mom wants your dog dead, then it means that she is doing too much for the dog and is resentful. If you like this dog, why don't you try taking over some of the doggy tasks that your mom is clearly stuck doing? I am positive she will really appreciate it.
TakeMyLifePlease 7
As a mother of three with a dog and other pets to take care of also, you've totally hit the nail on the head! I used to be a huge animal lover... 'til I had kids. I'm already responsible for cleaning up for five, I have absolutely no desire to add to that.
bankrupt 15
Thank you No. 79. I have seen this pattern a thousand times. Family whines for dog. Mom doesn't want dog because she knows that she will ultimately be stuck with dog cleaning and care while those who initially wanted the dog don't lift a finger. Mom is outvoted. Family gets dog. After the novelty of the dog wears off, the mom is stuck cleaning/feeding/walking the dog in addition to doing every load of laundry, cooking every meal, washing every dish, scrubbing every toilet, etc. And to top it off, the family is mad that the mom doesn't love Fido the way they do. Uh, that's because she's cleaning Fido's piss out of the carpet or walking Fido in the rain while everyone else is watching TV. Everyone thinks the OP's mom is "horrible" and "evil" but the real problem is she is probably this ******* dog's one-woman cleanup committee in addition to carrying the load for everything else. It is amazing to me how many people can't figure this one out.
UsagiArwen 23
So what? It's still not THE DOG'S effing fault. To every mom out there who's stuck with this task it's this simple. You tell your damn family that you've had enough. You tell your family that if they don't help out with the dog, you will get rid of it and you don't care what they think. You talk to them and tell them how you feel about it. I've always had pets, and the thing is, before they ever brought in an animal in the house, it was understood by the whole household that we needed to all pitch in, or the animal would not be staying. Thing is, my mom never joked either. If you're ready to wring the dog's neck because you're stuck with the burden of caring for the animal, then apparently you've never had the audacity, as every woman should, to lay down the law before even bringing the animal into the house. You...as the mother...have a responsibility to teach your children to BE responsible and care for their own messes as well as the family pet's messes. So wanting the DOG to jump off a cliff because the rest of the FAMILY is not doing their job is not fair nor appropriate. I can understand how frustrating it can be. But that's no excuse for what the op heard. Again, for every woman out there who understands how the op's mom feels, gather up the courage and tell your family what's going on and what's gonna happen if they don't start taking the initiative to clean up after the dog. Tell them you're done being the sole caregiver, and if they don't start helping, you will get rid of the animal. That's all there is to it. If you're unwilling to do that, stop effing whining about it.
bankrupt 15
That's great, No. 83, but the problem is some women do not have families as perfect as yours. In some families, the women say the same thing 1,000 times and get ignored or the help is grudgingly given THAT TIME ONLY just to shut her up. Then everyone reverts back to Mom doing everything and if she complains or asks for help she's a pain in the ass. So by your reckoning, this woman is such a ******* piece of shit retard moron that it did not occur to her to just tell everyone she needed help. Of course they would all come rushing in like the Marines to pitch in. Problem solved! And where did I say it was the dog's ******* fault? I said it is the OP's fault for not helping with the ******* dog. Not the same thing. In any case, a pet is supposed to enhance a family, not piss off the mom to the point where she wants it dead, so regardless of who is at fault here, the mom for being too stupid to ask the others to help with the dog, or the family for being too lazy to help, the bottom line is that something needs to change. And double space your paragraphs, ********. It makes your tripe easier to read.
giggle5000 0
Ur mother is horrible I would b**** slap her then I would take the dog and run away
bankrupt 15
What are you, an idiot? If the OP did that, then the OP would be homeless AND be responsible for the shelter and feeding of a dog. ******* brilliant.
Hunts160 5
why so many fmls about dogs?
rachilio 26
lmao
kbt13 0
so I noticed there are a lot of "Parents conspiring to kill domestic animals" fmls lately
1966mustanggt350 4
i think the dog was probably think of telling here "you die bitch"
snail143 0
OMFG!!!! Don't mess with dogs. And she has serious issues like wtf.
CLW_fml 9
lmao!! that's great.