Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot, while whispering, "Jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML
Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
If the dog is wearing a parachute, then it could be magical. A dog gliding off a cliff slowly without a care in the world.
Jacobt24 19
I suggest watching your dog very carefully from now on
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Comments (103)
MrSexyPants 14
It was their brother, but yeah I can totally see how it's their fault. Fool.
mekaylahm 0
O.o people these days
thepandawh0re 2
ya I like pandas too
socialdisease 1
how are pandas relevant to this fml???
ireallylikewomen 0
hmmm.... im not sure. maybe they arent...?! (.)_( .)
thepandawh0re 2
pandas are relevant to every subject
jakiwi 0
See if it works on her as well but say "Stop being a dumbass."
ImSoBaller 0
You ignorant hoe
Mirorbo 27
What's with the psychotic parents lately?
citymayer 7
Why is it always the mom that hates the dog?
fijianchick 0
I don't think your mommy likes dogs very much...
DottieGothicGirl 3
Did it work?
TrixER 6
So did your dog recently die today?
BelleBelle_fml 11
You make no sense.
Tinseltopia 3
Hey what anime is your profile pic? I'm intrigued