That's that, then

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

Privacy

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

Classy.

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

Close-Knit Family

Today, I finally met my girlfriend's family. When it was time for dinner, I was sent upstairs to get her brother. When I walked in, he was laid out on his bed getting a rimjob from his cousin. FML

Horrific misdirection

Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML

Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML

Rude awakening

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

That sucks

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML