Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
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Top comments
jjsaunders32 6
Just say #myfootupyourass
CommentModerated 17
Am I the only one who still calls it "pound"?
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Comments (92)
Sal_G_63 5
Know what you should do? Punch him in the #throat.
WingedApollo 12
#douchebagsayswhat
Obezyanka12 6
Welp, lets see if next generation is better... (Please be better.)
zomgbies 17
#OhSnapYou'reGettingTrolled
jacoposki 16
#MaybeHesTryingToTellYouSomething
xRezSynn 15
#thatmustbereallyannoyingimsorryop
ulissey_fml 22
Pack him off to France, over here we have to call it "mot dièse", that should cure him fast !
greenbaybuddy 2
Hashtag ##########
laden_swallow09 35
Punch his jaw. Hard.
blackonblight 33
Give him two light smacks in the mouth next time he does it and say you were just trying to double click the hashtag. Don't hit too hard, you want it to be more annoying than painful, since if he doesn't stop 'tagging' you won't stop 'clicking'