Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
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Top comments
jjsaunders32 6
Just say #myfootupyourass
CommentModerated 17
Am I the only one who still calls it "pound"?
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Comments (92)
EthanOnweller 6
YESH!!
AllyCady14 5
try all the kids in your grade #ALL DAY LONG
mr_blox2427 1
Hashtags are completely useless.
pfft123 14
Sounds like someone watched Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake together.... xD
imlifeless2 25
the #irony of that comment is just #sickening
fantasyworld 39
Punch him.
JH159753 21
#hashtags suck
BlackFire4890 16
I think you should hashtag him upside his head
pandasauresrex 13
#killitwithfire
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
#thatSucks #heIsDumb #hashtag #I'mOutOfHashtags