Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeelliot 11
Still a better love story than Twil....oh wait
theninja1800 11
Twilight is such a terrible movie. Truly. FYL OP for having to endure that in real life.
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Comments (169)
iloveshim 14
Maybe it's time to change the storyline and choose the hot shirtless friend
Zebediabolical 45
If it was the first time, I'd have sympathy. But since this has happened more than once, YDI OP.
peoplepainter 1
They are gay and you are his beard. FYL, sorry.
Feliciano 12
Sound like it should be in robot chicken or something xD
Barriaultcory 16
So you feel like you're Bella? Maybe now you understand why she only looks like she has one emotion..... misery
False_Stupidity 42
They sound like great fun.
Izzy325 4
Maybe it's not suppose to be romantic... But what about a Threesome?
Pussycat86 18
Hahahahahahahaha constipated!!! Couldn't agree more Hahahahahahaha!
akiahara 14
Just don't turn into Bella or breed with them and you'll be fine. Might want to make sure they can't speak, too..
BrotherTheo 31
Tell them you'd like to try role-play from the Buffyverse instead. See how that goes over.
Abantiquo 7
There'd be bruises in that game! Possibly broken bones. :O