Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeelliot 11
Still a better love story than Twil....oh wait
theninja1800 11
Twilight is such a terrible movie. Truly. FYL OP for having to endure that in real life.
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Comments (169)
maxman13524 13
Aaaaand dumped
poccocurantes 7
I think the role playing is kind of exciting. You should encourage it to keep things interesting. In fact try acting like Golum and see how your Bf reacts.
jujubunni5 9
Oh...I bet he looks completely sexy and straight glittering in the sun.
kalbrek009 20
Survey says..."yes, you are in a shitty fake romance" unfortunately..it's NOT a movie. FYL..Bella...OP
Bridgetyy 5
Hahaha I laughed at this. Your life doesn't suck. That's awesome!
cassislankard 12
Love Twilight. The books. Def not a fan of who they picked for Bella. :-/
spikekutter 9
i thought this one was kind of funny..
starcrossddream 14
YDI OP, never date creatures that glitter in the sunlight; apparently you should've chosen the werewolf :p
cynically 19
Oh God why
OhhIrony 6
And stutter a lot.