Rowden
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
hannah12345
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
fml
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
yourmainman
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Desperate
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Anonymous
Northridge, United States 🌶️ Spicy
No kinkshaming here
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Snufflopagus
Lynnwood, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML
Jumja
Netherlands
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
hss
United States
Food fight
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
skiittlez713
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
lovely
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Yummy
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Top comments
karina_said 0
your boyfriend is a pussy
luvmybby062308 0
You should've told him you two would burn it off in a couple minutes(;
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Comments (154)
furordei 2
It is bad for you. Try vegetables
alival 12
Whip cream isn't that many calories
richard92105 0
tell him his dick is full if calories so you won't have to do that either
Captain0bv10us 0
Maybe some mashed avocado will be better?
Irakli_1 27
then what the hell? I'm thin :D
SkoomaKi 28
He doesn't want to commit carbicide!
bignut24 13
Dude ur Bfs a huge pussy and he's gay Wat kind of guy wouldn't jump at the chance to luck whipped cream off nipples
spliit_fml 8
He's trying to watch his figure.
B5B0N35 18
a man has his limits
jonathanedwards 10
U mean ur girlfriend