Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
Desperate
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
No kinkshaming here
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
Food fight
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Yummy
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Top comments
karina_said 0
your boyfriend is a pussy
luvmybby062308 0
You should've told him you two would burn it off in a couple minutes(;
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Comments (154)
ninja_9881 0
12 yur sexy
megachaos 3
lol are you a ****** or somethin?
Th3_Ging3R 1
ur boyfriends gay fur not wanting 2 do that
TempestM 0
this fml should of ended with, "I had to lick the whip cream of y own nipples in the end....."
phoenix911 0
Its fun imagining u two.... Lmao
lolboy300 0
Can I do it ?
Hankjeter 0
whipped cream and pepperoni don't go good together xD
michaelscott69 0
Hm, it's true.
MegamiKaosu 28
just do it yourself ;
radiocaf 29
What an idiot.