Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML
Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Tell him you wanted a real *****, not a scale model.
saIty 17
Art... I got art...
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Comments (142)
mowmowlife 21
YDI for assuming it was a ring, and telling your parents. Just why
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How does one custom make a ring? Plastic zip ties? Seriously, in what universe would anyone assume a custom made gift was a ring? I just don't get it. As for what you're actually getting, suck it up (pardon the pun) and move on. Maybe he's giving it to you to give himself a break. I don't know but either way, YDI for assuming it was a ring.
louser_fml 1
Are you retarded? A custom made ring means that the design of the ring and diamonds (if that's what you decide to put on) is up to you. You can design it and get it made. A lot of jewellery stores have jewellers that can make custom made rings. Get an education.
Mpharis25 6
I had my fiancee's engagement ring custom made. Totally plausible idea that it could have been an engagement ring.
vaughnzi 3
Why'd he ruin the surprise!
Denny1 15
Very original at least .. You gota give him credit
lindaruiz 5
Lol, that's funny. Now your parents are gonna wanna know what it was!
Dixbfloppin 11
Sometimes it's just better to lie.
brandeeeeee 4
You love it every girl does
sbaybay123 2
"Mom, dad.. it is something I can play with."
evperry 2
AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU CAN GO **** YOURSELS.
jennfrk 1
I would tell them I was getting a new boyfriend