Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML
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Top comments
tipsy2013 24
I think OP's mom was telling her to go screw herself.
teentee401 37
Whovian. A fan of the show Doctor Who.
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Comments (152)
flashback_fml 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did she make you try it out in front of everyone?
Classy_Sassy_15 15
I hope not that would be disturbing.
Patriots21 14
wtf did you just suggest ?
tipsy2013 24
I think OP's mom was telling her to go screw herself.
emmsies 16
pervert
DawnofDark 15
Sonicly screw herself #45
angel1624 13
true dat
nchic01 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
a whatvian??
teentee401 37
Whovian. A fan of the show Doctor Who.
extrasnipes 22
Well more than just a fan
teentee401 37
Alright, a Doctor Who enthusiast then?
Bidnitch 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A whovian is someone who likes bad television
PhantomFollower 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"You dob't know abour The Doctor cause you're stupid."--Melody Pond
buckstop1 37
And YOU don't know how to spell
murythawn 13
It's a one letter typo, cry about it.
dicamillo27 11
I think everyone on fml's a little touchy about their doctor who. also #3 I liked your "whatvian" comment even though apparently nobody else did.
manlytarts 28
*everyone on the Internet.
IWishIWasObama 12
I thought it was talking about the little people in the Grinch. I don't watch Dr. Who so I had no idea what was going on either until I read the comments.
sortablondish 7
a whovian. once you join the fandom, you can never leave....
Prismo_Feeds 9
Is it hard enough to use it as a screwdriver?
BrotherPhil 35
And for that matter, is the *****?
ev_tardis 11
It's a Doctor Who sonic screwdriver. Not exactly your typical screwdriver!
kingcaper817 14
Oh god. That's just oh god maybe someone needs to have "the talk" with your mpm
mewtwonow 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Paint the ***** into a sonic screwdriver and zap it on gadgets. Remember it doesn't works on wood
drtoboggan 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I wouldn't be able to complain cx
exoticwaved 9
Go on with your bad self! Or Maybe mom gave you the wrong gift by mistake... I blame dad.
singer0421 32
Next time just tell her to go to Hot Topic. They have all your Whovian needs!
wyverntail 15
That's where my boyfriend got me a TARDIS cookie jar for Christmas. You would have thought OPs mom would read the label at least...
geekbuscus 19
ThinkGeek.com is better but Hot Topic is way more convenient. There is always the bonus of meeting other Whovians as well.
ClassyCataclasis 4
and stay out of Spencer's...
Ironic_Meme 10
The cringe is real in this thread
weveallbeenthere 30
I had to Google whovian?
Soloman212 28
Are you asking us?
weveallbeenthere 30
no, I googled it. I do not watch a lot of tv. just didn't know what it was.
doctorhook86 25
#43: I upvoted you. There's a comment in my profile that's relevant to this.
sillymama 21
As an American that’s never see Dr Who? I too had to Google exactly what that was as well. I couldn’t help but laugh when I realized the mistake her mom made. ???
thejokingguy13 12
I guess you wanted a little time lord technology in you
Ilmoran 20
Rather than bigger on the inside, it's bigger once it's inside?