Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my partner called me from urgent care because his jaw was hurting. Apparently he now has lockjaw from going down on me too much. FML
Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
mibrahim01 0
It's better to give than to take
guitarplayer546 0
I am sorry op, you may have a retard of a boyfriend
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Comments (126)
havocmike 3
Those accusations don't just come from the clear blue sky. clearly he thinks you're a *****. Now, think long and hard about why he'd have that thought.
All_Blacks 2
It's actually STI's now.
hateevryone 15
he must feel guilty
anjtrg_1112 23
Have him tell that to a urologist then see what he says :p
kteb2008 0
U mean ex bf?
irishman1989 0
Lack of trust. End it!
bizarre_ftw 22
Tell him to get tested and you do the same, when you both come out clean spend the next week constantly turning him down because "you might infect him" then before you start having sex again have him get Re-tested. :)
Alex13Morgan 0
what were you guys doing that he would think make his jaw swell?! haha what an idiot
Mythicleb 0
Really? And what the he'll is wrong with you girls today. You date the stupidist of men you deserve it !!!
gambatte 0
if he thinks that he better quit going down on hookers when your not together