Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my partner called me from urgent care because his jaw was hurting. Apparently he now has lockjaw from going down on me too much. FML
Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
mibrahim01 0
It's better to give than to take
guitarplayer546 0
I am sorry op, you may have a retard of a boyfriend
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Comments (126)
candacekmp 14
Sounds like he is fishing for reasons to break up...
Chris20003 17
And the Darwin award goes to... *drum roll*
The_9th_Doctor 18
dump his stupid ass while you still can
mtllsw3am 5
Ohhh lord have mercy
iadtgrad07 6
Sounds like he has the STD. Cheaters always blame the other person. I'd get yourself checked
Octopudding 17
You should punch that tooth right out of him.
Unlucky1232 20
sure it's just the jaw? maybe the logic part of his brain is swollen