Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that I had grown on him. I thought it was cute, until he added, "like a flesh eating bacteria". FML
Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML
Today, while making plans with my boyfriend, I told him we could have lunch after my appointment with the gynecologist. He started screaming, cussing and calling me a whore. According to him, women only go to the gyno if they have an STD, which I must’ve gotten from cheating. He’s an idiot. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
🤢🤮 You need to dump that disgusting skanky wanker stat...
Yudith 28
How did you stand having sex with this guy without washing his junk first?
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Comments (5)
FluffythePink 23
🤢🤮 You need to dump that disgusting skanky wanker stat...
Yudith 28
How did you stand having sex with this guy without washing his junk first?
Billsonhamsen 17
Who washes before every time? I take showers regularly but I don't purposely clean my junk before every act.
smartal 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
damn. you’re wrong and he’s still the bad guy. c u next tuesday
poopface82 25
You can teach a guy to wash his junk. You can’t teach a guy to be faithful.
core01 30
god, the bar for men is sub basement
poopface82 25
Being teachable is not the sub-basement. Refusing to wash his junk or his ass after being taught the correct way and the benefits is the sub-basement.
great_nate 26
It is not a win for him. But it is a loss for you.