Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my partner called me from urgent care because his jaw was hurting. Apparently he now has lockjaw from going down on me too much. FML
Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mibrahim01 0
It's better to give than to take
guitarplayer546 0
I am sorry op, you may have a retard of a boyfriend
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
OfficeNinja 5
please quadruple up on birth control. the worlds quota on stupid was filled decades ago, your winner boyfriends DNA must not multiply.
RedPillSucks 33
He thinks he cracked a tooth giving you head? Tell him that if he changes his technique, the STD will go away. But it requires him getting you to the big O at least 5 times a day. I'm sure he's stupid enough to believe this. There are plenty of reasons to stay with a stupid person. Gullibility is reason number 523.
marlarooNaps 0
Your bf is an idiot. He obviously has an abscessed tooth.
sturgessjo 0
Gorgeous :)
chickenpie90 16
He sounds... mature
asktherunes 4
Somebody needs to go back to school or do research online. UR calling him UR boyfriend so u are claiming the dumb ass.
Zomg_Okay 27
You really shouldn't tell someone to go back to school if you're using "ur" and "u".
Jamicianprince 1
How very mature
Jamicianprince 1
How very mature
1crabbygirl 10
He has a guilty conscience.
icic6772 0
Well Where else would he get it from?
badactor009 0
He does not trust you. He also does not take responsibility for his own health. What can you trust him to look after? Next!