Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother-in-law told me to "just wait" until she gets home from her trip, because apparently, taking a vacation with her partner is more important than the birth of her first grandchild. Contractions started a few hours ago. Part of me hopes she misses it. FML
Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to be in the room whilst I gave birth. He offered to wait in the waiting room, but only if I gave birth on a weekend, and if it was a weekday he’d be too busy at work. I reproduced with this guy, and this isn’t the meanest thing he’s ever said to me. FML
Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML
Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML
Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremely selfish person, and that I don't love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a back rub in two weeks, sleep too much, and have a hormonal problem. Once again: I AM PREGNANT! FML
Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML
Today, my future sister-in-law, who hasn’t even been engaged a week, informed everyone that the wedding is on December 19th, which is the due date of my first child. My brother won’t change the date and is making my family choose between his wedding or being at the hospital with me. FML
Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML
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Top comments
kooochris1995 14
Jeez don't be so selfish!!! Women these days!!
perdix 31
Tell him you're disappointed that his gigolo son still hasn't popped the question even after knocking you up. I'll bet the old bastard will stop taking his petty annoyances to you anymore.
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Comments (220)
Tiecho 4
Yeah, he's a dick. Seriously dont take it- tell him he's a dick, and if he wants to see your grandson when he's born he should cancel is trip and use that money for pampers!
06rubiandrea_fml 5
For God's sake he is not a dick..he was just joking! OP is being too dramatic!
KunoKanashimi 3
For God's sake! He was not joking! You and he are just raging dumbasses!
06rubiandrea_fml 5
**** you 127!
WCARlover 35
Tell him that for him to arrange a flight to come back earlier would be a lot easier than controlling when a baby comes out of your ******...that'd probably shut him up
Dracoboxer357 36
17- While I completely agree with your mindset and comment, I seriously doubt that would shut him up at all. Arrogant people like that don't get it often enough and think You're the jack ass, and look to stick it to you later while gossiping and bitching about you behind your back. In case you haven't heard..... You can't fix stupid. ;)
beckyxD 13
Win!!! :D
Tiecho 4
Is you boyfriends father Rick Santorum by any chance?
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
Go you!
ashbash98 0
how yall gone say shes selfish ?! you cant "hold a baby in" or make it be born early ! if its early then it can be born deformed ! hes the one whose selfish. & dumb! & how can somebody say ydi ?! dumb people in this world
piccalo 4
English please..
Swiftly 0
"Dumb people in this world" lol you're such a hypocrite
catatonicsleep 17
Early babies are not deformed! I was 5 weeks early and perfectly normal
hotPinklipstick 24
Oh wow, I have read this comment over 5 times now and I still can't comprehend what you are trying to say with all your "?!? &&" crap, lack of capitalization and improper punctuation going on. Seriously there were more errors in that one comment then all the other comments on this FML put together.
Awsumuzzie 12
If the baby is born one month early, it's fine. Babies can be born at 5 months and still survive with all of this new technology. The more you know
koolkat27 13
Dont make fun of him/her because of their writing style. I doubt you couldn't understand it because it was a simplified version of how we speak.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
^ if it's supposed to be simplified, WRITE IT ******* NORMALLY!! You think it's "simple" but, it is in fact much harder to read(not to mention lowers the IQ of anyone who happens to read it.).
insertnameherr 11
My friend is 4 months a premie and he's completely normal. He's a genius, and a fantastic singer. How can you say that premies are often deformed?
kofeinisti 6
33, If you're going to complain about someone else's grammar, you should probably know the difference between then and than.
muppetslover 11
I understood what he said... You just have to read it slowly... And premies often have complications... They aren't deformed that was the wrong word choice...
blahblahblah5213 6
Just because babies can live does NOT mean they will be fine. A pregnancy is 40 weeks and those 40 weeks are all important. Babies born even two weeks early can have life threatening complications that stay with them forever. Nothing is 100% in pregnancies. I had my son at 37 weeks, he was perfectly fine, just tiny. But a friend of mine had her son at 37 weeks and he was in the NICU for 5 weeks. His lungs weren't developed yet. You never know what is going to happen
Leelee227 9
24 weeks.
hahaomgrly 0
I'd be telling someone to go **** themselves lol
usnwife 18
No way in hell my father in law (or anyone except my husband and maybe my mom) would be there for the birth anyway! A couple hours later, sure, but not for the actual birth! Very happy my second was born out of state, I hate everyone telling me how much of a "right" they have to my newborn!
silentbutfunny 0
When somebody is introduced into the family, its a big deal. Not necessarily watching the whole thing happen, but to see the newborn as soon as possible. It is their flesh and blood, too. And why the hell should your mother be able to see your kid when you dont want your husbands father to see him/her?? Is the baby all yours and nobody elses? Its your husbands baby also. His family should have a right to see it just as much as yours. (and im not talking about watching the whole thing go down. Im talking about as soon as you cover up, hold the baby, and essentially do what you need to do, probably half an hour?)
KaylieeJay 4
@118 I think they meant, that only maybe her husband or mom would be in the delivery room for when she is pushing the kid out- not that only her husband/mom will ever see the baby. I don't think it's selfish that she wants the time to bond with her child rather than it being passed around like a hot potato while she just spent all that effort to produce it. The family has spent 9 months waiting for the baby, they can wait a little longer until mom is ready to let the baby be passed around to each family member [Which is usually a lot of people].
usnwife 18
Yes, I meant in the delivery room. With my first it was just my husband with me for delivery, but there were about 12 people outside of my door, and they came bursting through the second they could. My son was born at midnight, I was exhausted and just wanted to cuddle my son and relax with my husband (who had gotten home from deployment 3 days earlier). Half an hour was no where near enough time, but I let them see the baby for a few minutes each then had the nurses kick them out. I promise, a newborn doesn't change THAT much in the first few days, give the new mom some room and wait patiently!! Visitors always want to hold the baby, not just look, and that's the new parents right, not the family's, for the first day!
choshaki 8
Oh well grandpas going to have to deal with it.
Joshawott 21
Is this trip to Europe due to business or leisure? It sounds like it's most likely the latter and if it is, remind him that if a grandparent wants to truly be there for their grandchild, it should be natural instinct to prioritise said grandchild over themselves. Also, as he's your boyfriend's father, shouldn't he know that a woman can't just choose when to give birth? Unless he's a step-father, wasn't around during your boyfriend's mother's pregnancy for some reason or just epically fails at biology.
Hozu 3
Wow... some of these FMLs are so out there that you can't even make these up.
Maddchapps 0
Lol you better keep them legs closed tight. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Old peeps these days.