Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said I look too ugly when I cry to do it seriously in person. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Trying to be the bigger person, I told him, "Your loss, not mine." He responded with, "I didn’t lose anything really. You let yourself go. Have you looked in the mirror lately?” FML
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Top comments
irateyou 9
....and better off without my douchebag of a boyfriend."
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
I'm sorry OP, that was so mean. You should go over to his house and key the equivalent into his car.
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Comments (214)
irateyou 9
....and better off without my douchebag of a boyfriend."
Ryan_Jaxson 8
I don't think that he dumped you on valid grounds. Looks are not a basis for character unless you are Emily the Strange.
Maverick52 13
"Hi, I'm Emily's ex boyfriend. I'm stupid, idiotic, shallow, and I have a small penis." - is what he actually meant to say right?
israelnotjacob 20
Sucks that you wasted four years with him, but if he's that much of a douche bag you're clearly better off in the long run. Imagine what crap he'd be saying about you from day to day had you gotten married.
RussianFox 13
Immaturity at it's finest. OP dodged a bullet.
SirCharles83 13
I don't understand. Every time a guy does something stupid, some one comments about him having a small penis. It makes no sense. How come when women do something stupid no one says "oh she's got small ****" or something?
lk2481 4
What does that even have to do with the fml...
Feverrotes 15
80 - I agree all the way. OP's ex is a loser without a doubt, but it's pathetic that the only legit insult women have against a gun is the small dick claim.
BrookeLouisee 4
Agreed
EmberEyes 16
I agree with you fully. Doesn't that technically mean that the girl has seen his penis before? XD
calilovergirl 4
80- it's because when a girl does something wrong like that, she's called a ***** or a ****, you can't call a guy that because it's not insulting to them, so you have to hit where it hurts and every man is sensitive about the size of his dick. Look how sensitive you got...
Feverrotes 15
If I guy has a huge dick and he's confident about it, some girl calling it small isn't going to do anything. Especially when that girl is saying it as an act of revenge to the guy for being an ass.
perdix 31
Saying that he has an inadequate dick just reflects badly on her. She was settling for it for four years. On the other hand, she could have packed on a lot of weight during that four years which could make her face bloated and ugly. It was unkind how he put it to her, but it may have been true.
lux0rd 18
I hope OP adds #1's comment to the end of it and takes a picture and sends it to the ex before cleaning it off.
Lucia_Malpense 14
No, no, you've got it wrong. It's Emily who's the boyfriend.
tuva1011 5
EX-boyfriend
YouDaIdiot 4
Well spotted.
marsuveesblack 8
You said it!! He's a jerk!
yoyoforpeace 14
"Hello I'm Emily and I have a nice body, im beautiful and i don't need to date an asshole that isn't worth my time."
isabellegypsy 12
You're much better off without that asshole!
Clioo_fml 17
Yup, remember OP, he dated you for quite some time, there must have been something he found attractive about you.
SinfulEnd 20
If you can fit all that onto a mirror, using sharpie, and the previous message, then go ahead.... I would like to see you try to...
Inediblepeaches 15
What the **** kind of tiny mirrors do you have?!
alexgray 7
That's horrible
amillionbucks 5
And funny
TourettesGuyFTW 26
41- your face is funny(looking)
oj101 33
Well, you gotta admit that it was a least a creative and well thought out method of breaking up.
happle 21
I don't understand why some people think breaking up with someone should be creative. If you're going to do something nice, it can be creative, but not a breakup.
calivianya 29
76 - Creative? Maybe. Well thought out? No way in hell. How is passive-aggressively breaking up with someone via a string of written insults the guy didn't even have the nerve to say to her face well thought out by any definition? Breaking up via text message would even be better than this, and that's already low.
soph_volleyball 11
That's not funny!
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
I'm sorry OP, that was so mean. You should go over to his house and key the equivalent into his car.
wtfmeesh 4
Hell yeah she should awesome idea! :)
Werken247 14
That's actually a really ignorant idea. Grow up. Sorry OP but like others have said, you're better off without that dickless wimp.
missL1z 5
Then you'll see them on Judge Judy.
Tsunami87 17
Why do people think revenge is such a great idea? 2 wrongs don't make a right! Take the high road and spend some quality time getting happy again op.
Sandman366 6
But...but...revenge feels so good! (Though I will say 'eye for an eye' only works if the original incident is the only thing considered, getting revenge on revenge just leads to an endless feud.)
thatonename 7
Which means any revenge can lead to a never-ending feud. Any revenge you take can be viewed as another revengable act to the other person. As stated previously, take the high road. It's not worth the time.
Mahtari 19
This guy might be a 12 year old; what lovely adjectives.
rapunzel3416 28
It's just like my sister. Her favorite comeback is "Shut up you big ugly fat brat!" I can't help but laugh.
Korosuhito 26
That's terrible OP. He's obviously a spineless scumbag. You're better off without people like that in your life.
PinkKawaiiChic 10
Now you destroy his Xbox. ;)
chris_42 11
Are you sure you didn't just buy a really shitty magic mirror?
toalysium 15
It might make both of us assholes, but I laughed.
burningmatch 3
Make it three, then.
charvisioku 22
Four. We're all going to hell.
FlyingFucker 6
Six, enough room in that elevator?
talldude4u 3
Seven, I'm jamming that button for heaven
SayPeanuts 29
Eight, who do we appreciate?
TheStormsFury 8
Nine, this isn't looking real divine.
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
ten, im sorry op but see ya when your time comes :P
Calumae 8
Wow. What a douchebag. :( Try rubbing alcohol to remove it. If not, nail polish remover should do trick for but I'd test it on an inconspicuous corner first in case it removes the shine off the mirror.
Calumae 8
Or actually a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser might work the best.
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
I've heard that writing over the permanent marker with a dry-erase marker would allow it to just be wiped off the surface! Or maybe I'm just gullible...
igive 29
43, its true.
taniamw 9
Perfume does the trick! :)
middlecyclone 5
43: You're not gullible. I've used that trick and it works. Sometimes you have to scribble over it and it can take a while...but it does work.
kickass1stbase 7
Hand sanitizer works wonder on permeant marker!
Sputnikspak 13
Rubbing alcohol is your friend when it comes to permanent markers - sharpie, etc. (I'm an illustrator, use them every day, and the only thing that gets it out well is rubbing alcohol - preferably a higher concentration if you can find it.)
beebea87 7
I'd prolly just smash the mirror and buy a new one.... maybe even over douchebags' head???
lmngrl889 14
no its true. my teacher tried it in front of the class and it worked
Ukeee_X 19
That's really harsh, there's got to be an explanation for it. Either way you're probably better without, sorry.
naturalbadassnba 11
Wow what a douche!! At least u know hes not the right one now :)
applexj 13
He is wasting good pens!!!.....now go and find him and make him clean the mess he made plus get him to get you some new sharpies
juicyfresh 7
sounds to me like the sharpees aren't too high on her list of concerns atm
CharresBarkrey 16
You can use Sharpies to write more than once...
krazykyra 12
Someone sounds like they've been getting high on sharpies. WTF are you talking about? xD
applexj 13
Sorry I left a bad comment :(