Today, my boyfriend is mad at me for causing him to fail a science test. Apparently he thought I was serious when I told him that homo sapiens were extinct because they were "homo". FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML
It's pronounced Renesmée
Today, I told my boyfriend in a joking manner that he says my name slightly incorrectly. Now he’s mad I didn’t tell him. FML
Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Indoctrination?
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
Lrn 2 Read
Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML
Is this dude a puma?
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML
Top comments
A07 48
It's because you forgot to say "no ****" at the end, always end with "no ****"
PhoenixChick 26
I have the sneaking suspicion he wasn't going to pass anyway
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Comments (105)
joelp232 17
sounds like he wasnt goin to pass anyways so dont sweat it....good burn tho lol
tipsyone 22
Shame that natural selection isn't as effective nowadays as before! I blame our incredibly protective societies for that! It's really ruining our chances of survival in the long term where stupidity isn't punished more than just a fail in a test...
tarlax 11
Implying that we should murder "undesirables" or people of low intelligence. Hmm, now who else in history that we all know was into such eugenics...?
fotomiep 7
#16, you do know there's a massive difference between natural selection and murder?
tarlax 11
He's talking about punishing stupidity and blaming SOCIETY for tolerating it. I think the implication is pretty obvious.
fotomiep 7
You might want to read up on Darwin. No murder involved, but survival of the fittest. Basic natural selection of species, evolution, that kind of thing.
tarlax 11
You might want to read up a little, see that reply I made to you? Yeah, that one. Try reading it again.
epicx22 22
Does #20 not understand the point of your comment, he/she needs to reread it.
Zebediabolical 45
Just take the warning labels off of everything and let nature sort itself out.
brezzyanna 17
Intelligence is a lot more about upbringing than it is about genetics. Natural selection wouldn't change anything. What needs to change is how people raise their kids, but that's not going to happen.
tipsyone 22
No not murder! That's only what you understood! Our society have become do damn foolproof that an idiot will not only survive but also be able to thrive despite his/her shortcoming! Case in point Donald trumps supporters...
PoopholeSurprise 2
Does he also know that the original title of "War and Peace" was "War, What is it Good for?"
Lalala579121 28
And the message the song was trying to convey was that war never changes.
RedCronos 17
made my day haha
PePziNL 20
In his case, it made his hole weak.
whatsausername7 16
That would cause eventual extinction...
doodlebug33 20
Does he know that the Declaration of Independence was signed by Herbie Hancock?
arkh_angel 16
Your bf should post what happened in FML so everyone could YDI him! Because honestly... HDI!
LyricaSilvan 30
No offense, but you appear to be dating an idiot.
TCKM416 15
Is his name Joey Tribbianni?
Jnerdy97 13
Finally someone who recognized the FRIENDS reference.
ViviMage 40
Look up a species of only female lizards in the desert of Arizona. They don't have a male, but one females acts like a male to "mate" with the other females and induce ovulation via parthogenesis, a exact clone of the female hatches. Homos don't have to go extinct. **** is the Latin name for the genus humans come from.
sparkledoge 29
Yeah but they're reptiles, so they can do that naturally. Like snails, slugs, lots of deep sea creatures and some bugs. We, on the other hand, are Mammals and our specie is made of males and females, we need both to breed, because our specie is like that. We're not slugs or lizards, we are humans.
ViviMage 40
The entire point is the species are "homosexual breeders" and not extinct.
sparkledoge 29
Nobody said "all homosexual species go extinct". The point of the whole fml is, **** sapiens is not made for homosexual breeding and that was the actual joke and the guy took it as a real fact. It has nothing to do with lizards or any homosexual species. If The joke was "Mammoth tried to fly so they all fell and died" and someone said "well birds can actually fly and they don't go extinct from falling." It's true but it wasn't about birds, it was about a specie who couldn't fly anyway so it doesn't change anything to the fact they would have died if they had tried and it is not what happened. That's the point of my comment.