Today, a man I matched with on a dating app told me I was very unattractive but he would let me blow him if I put something over my face and kept all my clothes on. How did I get so lucky? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
Today, a very attractive man asked me out on a date, and I said yes. He is tall, charming and a very good kisser. I'm sure the woman he heavily made out with after I left would agree. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, a Tinder guy asked me if I had a full-body picture since I only have headshots. Being ashamed of my body, I told him my rear camera was broken, so only the front-facing camera worked. He asked me if I could see my toes when I looked down. Without thinking, I looked down and said, "No." He unmatched me. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
What the actual ****.
Charlie Given 28
As a single dad I've dealt with similar situations. Just like that there's internet trolls there's also dating site trolls of both male and female variety. I've had women on dating sites tell me I needed to change my entire look or get rid of my kids and not be a single dad 😞. Gotten used & abused from dating sites, I've dealt with scam artists, catfishers, crazy's, being led on by gold diggers, sex workers and let's not forget the creepy polyamorous couples who immediately want to meet your kids and have your kids meet their kids. Dating in the modern age sucks and you have to be very selective and picky with who you even talk to, let alone actually go out on a date with. Good luck OP and do some research look up what all the red and orange flags are for relationships and also read the narcissists Bible. This will help you weed out potential losers before you even start the talking/texting phase and yeah nowadays you have to stock people's social media profiles ,this will help you determine whether or not they're real and not a catfisher or a bot.
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Comments (5)
TwoBytesCarley 27
What the actual ****.
Charlie Given 28
As a single dad I've dealt with similar situations. Just like that there's internet trolls there's also dating site trolls of both male and female variety. I've had women on dating sites tell me I needed to change my entire look or get rid of my kids and not be a single dad 😞. Gotten used & abused from dating sites, I've dealt with scam artists, catfishers, crazy's, being led on by gold diggers, sex workers and let's not forget the creepy polyamorous couples who immediately want to meet your kids and have your kids meet their kids. Dating in the modern age sucks and you have to be very selective and picky with who you even talk to, let alone actually go out on a date with. Good luck OP and do some research look up what all the red and orange flags are for relationships and also read the narcissists Bible. This will help you weed out potential losers before you even start the talking/texting phase and yeah nowadays you have to stock people's social media profiles ,this will help you determine whether or not they're real and not a catfisher or a bot.
Sonotsuave 37
Tell him he can sick your sick and piss off 🤣 what in the heck.
Blunt w/chip on shoulder 3
by rejecting ppl ur not attracted to and going for ppl who aren't attracted to I. difference is they wud let u blow them but u ain't letting the ugly guys do u lol so ur more lucky to have that chance wen the ugly guys don't lol
Zebediabolical 45
...did you?