Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML
Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Akitakat 31
Well, flick his bic then tell him to turn his head & cough while gloving up & see how he likes it.
Akitakat 31
Such a romantic...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (19)
davecross 11
Kick him tiny thing and teach him some new move so he can turn you on
wellonheels 7
OMG, that sounds like my ex-husband. He thought wiggling the bed while lying on his back and waving his penis at me was also a turn-on. I even told him what to try, but he refused. Any chance you live in NY? Oh, and BTW, once I figured out he only wanted a slave and a hooker, I finally left him.
milf4u2011 7
sadly I laughed at this and told my fiancé...since reading this to him he too has started trying this method...flicked nipples and a finger in the belly button DOES NOT TURN A WOMAN ON!