Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Reminds me of Patrick Star, except he uses his bellybutton as a biological wallet.
MetalxSoldier 26
You mean he's 2-7 years old. This is why punctuation is important!
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Comments (122)
iBuddy95 0
Just tried that. worst....smell.....ever.
choshaki 8
Take a shower please?
anthonydude 9
You should clean it with a cue tip.
shoopd 19
14 - OP never said it smelled bad. For all we know it could have been amazing and smelled like Cinnabons!
DCFan 9
*Q-tip
anthonydude 9
Oh yes it is q-tip, thank you 21.
Gxr 0
Are you sure you're not pin out with Patrick? From spongebob.
Colonel_Lexi 18
Be grateful that it was his belly button and not his asshole.
IPoopedOnU 12
Hahaha. One time my brother took one of my dolls when I was little and shoved it in his belly button. -.-
MetallicaRules19 4
36- they smell the same...
Jonkbaby 23
so hot...
Nikkisha16 0
#1 are you joking? Or were u just born stupid?
chacha2726 0
Don't stick anything in ur belly button u could damage something in ur stomach or if ur a girl u could make ur umbilical chord mess up and then ur belly button would bleed. Ask any doctor theyll tell u wHat i just said. I know this because my mother is a labor and delivery nurse and my doctor told me. The doctor and my mother said its unsafe. But if u wanna mess something up in ur stomach or make ur belly button bleed be my guest.
JackIsHere 4
yummy
MonsterSlayer13 5
:l he's very mature for his age.
Jamialia 5
My Ex still picks his nose and eats it. He's 35
helloletsgo 0
Keeper
Bball_boy15 3
Most annoying comment and did you get too lazy to write "He's a"?
PuffDaddy395 3
He's an average guy…all guys do stupid stuff like that.
Brice28_fml 10
I have never tried to smell my belly button.
TheFirstSamurai 18
I feel bad admitting this, but I actually tried just now.
Sinamoi 18
Reminds me of Patrick Star, except he uses his bellybutton as a biological wallet.
iTrevor 5
And his belly button lint as ear muffs!
mfazi456 7
I wish I had that...
KiddNYC1O 22
FIRMLY grasp it!
himynamesholly 0
I hope that's not all he puts towards the intimacy of the relationship.
cookeemonster 7
Hmmm, maybe time to tell him to grow up?
godlike1 5
I can't take that comment seriously with that profile pic. :P I miss the old spongebob.
wanna_bee 8
Coming from someone with spongebob and patrick as their pic. Plus the language within the pic? Who really needs to grow up. Seriously.
Brice28_fml 10
And yours is much better?
Milf6969 1
They never really grow up. Lol
CryMoreFMLs 15
I thought the Old spongebob episodes were quite entertaining. I miss the classic cartoons of my childhood, all these new ones blow donkey dick.
Pudagiah 12
At least he's digging where you can see him. I think it'd be a bit worse to smell his fingers if he had been scratching his ass.
effedml 5
Not much worse. Those belly buttons can stink like you wouldn't believe when they're not regularly cleaned. Especially a deep "innie."
SxeDaze 13
Do you smell that? Its the smelly smell , the smell that smells....smelly.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Try this again on a site for 10 year olds. You will be worshipped like as a god.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Like, as a god.*
MissMae93 23
You can love Spongebob at any age. I still get a giggle out of it now and again. Grow up and don't be so closed minded.
AnagenisisZagus 13
When did I say Spongebob was for kids. I just thought they would appreciate more because obviously with the thumbs down FML users didn't appreciate the reference.
MissMae93 23
When you said "try again on a site for 10 year olds". Nice try ;)
AnagenisisZagus 13
"Try this again" Not "try again." I chose my words carefully.
MissMae93 23
None the less, either way implies it is for children in which case only children would understand the reference. Didn't chose your words carefully enough :)
AnagenisisZagus 13
Touché, Madame. Touché.
weasel781 2
75 is a dumbass
chacha2726 0
Listen up wacko SHUT UP do u need me to spell it? S-h-u-t (space) u-p just so u know I mean it!!!! MissMae93 is right u DID in fact say spongebob was for 10 year olds and that he needed to go to a website for ten yr olds and u know what u just got told by a 10 year old cuz IM TEN now go some where with STUPID COMMENTS!!!! BYE GIRL!! Don't worry missmae93 we all know ur right and she is wrong
MetalxSoldier 26
You mean he's 2-7 years old. This is why punctuation is important!
illabye 0
Put your finger up your ass and put it in his mouth. Let's see if he likes it.
upyourzlolz 11
It'd be fine because, 'ya know... GIRLS DON'T FART. Or poop.
Krysk_fml 0
12-If OP put her finger up her ass and stuck it in her boyfriends mouth he would probably get E.Coli or Salmonella.
MissMae93 23
Just.. No. That's so gross, why would you even say something like that?
weasel781 2
40 I beg to differ, I'm a custodian and I always find logs in the girls bathroom