Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML
Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend to stand up for himself more often. He now takes very hard stances on his desire for anal sex and his love for the Star Wars Disney+ series. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. FML
Today, I sat through 9 gruelling hours of Star Wars with my boyfriend. I hate those movies with a passion and frankly would rather get a pap smear from Wolverine than watch them. Afterwards, he dumped me for yawning, saying that I didn’t take a “serious” interest in his favorite things. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
Soninuva 41
Oral sex is great and all, and I can see why you'd want your boyfriend to appreciate it when you give it to him, but bear in mind that not all guys are so shallow as to immediately drop everything at the opportunity of anything sexual. If he's trying to share his interests with you, allow him to. If it doesn't jive with yours, say so. In a non-sexual situation, it would be akin to him trying to converse with you about something he enjoys, and you start feeding you a food you know he likes mid-sentence. In both instances, in a different context they would be much appreciated, and always start by at least asking if he would like it, first.
kangx1 28
If it was during Deadpool I can't blame him. That shit was amazing.
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Comments (34)
BaconandMegs23 3
maybe learn how to spell "coitus"
great_nate 26
Anyone who would choose the movie doesn't deserve the BJ.
barleyguy 17
id like to say hes stupid but id likely do the same thing if my wife tried that if i got her to finally watch starwars with me
PennyLane27 32
And when he asked you to stop, I hope you did.
Viewerv 2
Pretty sure "not in the mood" applies to guys too. Just because you wanted to do something sexual doesn't mean that was the mood he was in. Surely we as a society are past the stupid Hollywood inspired troupe that all men can think about is sex.
DudeistPriest 2
Nope, that trope is alive and well.
cornyrob 33
Don't make him choose!
lezlgcy 0
Depends on how old you two are. If he's 15-30 then he may be gay. R maybe you've been together so long he can wait two hours when he can reciprocate! Wishful thinking?? Maybe he's on drugs and you'd notice when he couldn't get it up or maybe he has a VD and doesn't want you to see it? Im reaching here!
DudeistPriest 2
...or maybe he wasn't in the mood right then. Just a crazy thought.
blupenguin29 14
He wanted the Netflix, you wanted the chill.
Mortoli 30
not gonna would love a gf who would do this. lol
chickypie1987 23
Guys these days have lower sex drives than women. Wtf happened
DudeistPriest 2
Nothing happened; this isn't new, you just hear about it more often and more publicly.