Alexa, play "Can't Stand Me Now" by The Libertines

Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML

The grind

Today, what did I get after a long, tiring week? A long, depressing weekend. FML

Today, I went for a much needed relaxing massage. As I lay down, the renovation works in the next building started up. FML

Messy

Today, after a long shift, I came home and cleaned my house so I could relax tomorrow. I finished up the night with a soothing bubble bath, which was lovely until the ceiling collapsed into the tub. I can't even wash the filth off because my bath is full of drain-clogging plaster. FML

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

Gamers rise up

Today, after a stressful day at work, I just wanted to go home and play video games. And then I broke my thumb. FML

Today, I realized that my work life is far less stressful than my home life. I'm a cop. FML

Never enough

Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML

Droopy

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML