Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Teaching moment
Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Ouch
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
Are you kidding me?
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML
Top comments
ThrottleJockey 36
Well... have you seen it?
RichardPencil 32
You were doing a great 'job. The ******* scene in Kung Fu Panda 3 is hotter than most live-action ****. Spoiler Alert!
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Comments (17)
ThrottleJockey 36
Well... have you seen it?
ibra5428 1
????
FrozenMusic 26
He's a keeper
dancingwell 0
You deserved it. You deserve to see Kung fu panda 3. Awesome movie!
RichardPencil 32
You were doing a great 'job. The ******* scene in Kung Fu Panda 3 is hotter than most live-action ****. Spoiler Alert!
daveshira 3
Not all heroes wear capes
meganblowe 1
<p> So was it good? The movie, not the ********.</p>
RememberSchlitz 9
<p>You were doing fine - he's just trying to last longer. It used to be that guys would think about baseball. Now it's Kung Fu Panda 3. Times change, ******** are ever awesome.</p>
catdog414 11
Well that situation 'blows'
ismedrage 17
Why are almost all the FML's about gay people
Allornone 35
why do you care?
cootiequeen4444 11
because gay people are submitting a lot of FMLs that are accepted. that's why. not exactly rocket attorney, M.D., stuff.
jadums 5
Lol. That's how guys think. Not a big deal.
geniusness 6
<p>Which style were you doing? Tiger? Monkey? Crane? Oogway - I bet you were doing Oogway.</p>