Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
Today, for my birthday, I got a hotel room for me and my boyfriend. He decided that spending time with a female friend was more important than spending time with me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
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Top comments
mikeofthunder 13
That isn't a bad attempt OP, he obviously spent a lot of money on you which shows he cares. He's just a bad drunk.
Steve95401 49
Your boyfriend sounds like a real winner.
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Comments (123)
monkiki62 5
Well sounds like u should leave him there and go to six flags wasted and have the time of ur life without the idiot.
kitsune3 20
OP, he's drunk and asleep. People say weird shit when they sleep. Being drunk makes it worse because people who are drunk don't know what the hell they're saying. It was probably not great of him to get wasted on your birthday and just pass out, but him cursing about you in his condition is nothing to flip over.
hobosapien081 10
oh who cares?? YOU'RE GOING TO 6 FLAGS!!!
buca100 4
Ditch him and go to six flags. No, just kidding. But just be happy that you've got a boyfriend who knows how to have fun (aside from passing out from getting wasted) and go to six flags another day. Sorry that this had to happen on your birthday though. That really sucks. Happy Birthday!
KatlynBrooke 27
Give him an A for effort?
fayemae 11
Ya that sucks but u got stuff that's super awesome for free
stealman 3
That's what happens when girls go out with douches so u deserve it
lambda_fml 40
Perhaps you forgot to give him his return present?
Albedo667 5
Hey, gotta take the good with the bad
soyeah_whatsup 4
How about them six flag tickets though!!(me looking at the bright side).