Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started daydreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone came up to me and said, "Try not to be so obvious." Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
at least he called you beautiful?
illabye 0
Look on the bright side... You'll make a lovely corpse.
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Comments (184)
hannaaaahr 33
at least he called you beautiful?
redpickle 1
I'm pretty sure a death sentence trumps beauty...
hellachillin 8
She's obviously drop dead gorgeous..
Lexi_princess 3
Hahaha nice one #34
xxBitchxPleaSe 6
She must be so beautiful that she's to die for..
zandalee 20
Flick your hair back, grin showing lots of teeth, drop your handbag and dance around it. If he still stares at you with murderous intent, run like hell.
ekb777 13
139, if I were the man in that situation I think I would run away..lol
brosbeforehos85 3
Maybe his friend is gonna die and he's trying to cheer him up?
th3hardrocker 12
RUN LIKE HELL!!!
LO388 7
But make sure you look both ways before running across the street!
Pandacupcakelove 26
I heard most accidents happens at home...
Psych101 9
78- I think you mean most accidents happen within a mile of home. The solution, then, is obviously to move.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I meant "happen". Sorry, english is not my first language...
ColdplaySucks 18
"Woke Up This Morning... Gotta get yo self a gun!" I suggest listening to that song if you feel threatened, OP.
illabye 0
Look on the bright side... You'll make a lovely corpse.
Mioko_fml 6
Maybe he meant her organs not her face... Oh wait, nvm, stupid comment.
Sasha693 4
Put the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again. Maybe he's a real life buffalo bill
gc327072 31
Perhaps the old man was Benjamin Button.
yahoowizard 16
68 Benjamin Button could predict future deaths =0? I certainly saw that movie wrong
ant1ion 12
67- what?
FMLKitten 15
113- It's a movie reference, and not the greatest reference at that. Don't worry much about it.
allforyoux3 25
Uh oh. That's when you grab your coffee and quickly get out of there.
reallytho3 11
What if he drugged the coffee...
BH1126 11
Forget the coffee!
FtP_Benihana 0
"spill" the coffee on him
frankothetanko 0
splash the coffe on the old fart I say
SierraaaNicoleee 26
Well, we all die eventually.
niall92 6
yeah! it sounds like they were having a conversation about the frailty and impermanence of life. i think you just heard it out of context, op. no reason for alarm.
xcarxcrashx 9
Really 54?? You got all that from the two statements that she is beautiful and she is going to die? Wow
TriflingAllDay 6
I think 54 nailed it.
ambowew 7
Speak for yourself, I made Horcruxes.
ant1ion 12
93- I'll find them and destroy them mwahahaha
FMLKitten 15
93 & 122 - Then I'll write it down and sell the story underneath the name of J K Rowling... and hopefully make money.
Trix_Disorder 20
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what the guy meant.
SwagPuppet 3
That's plain creepy. Be careful!
Rose_916 16
Be careful of what you do Run op runnnn!
ManInTheMachine 20
You obviously didn't stick around for the rest of his sentence. He was going to say that you'll die happy and loved, surrounded by friends and family. Way to make him look like a complete asshole.
Brownie101abc 7
I find tht weird either way.
monocyte 4
Or she's gonna die.. Her hair blonde?
bsmith9942 11
Of course you are going to die. Everyone dies. It's part of life. I'm sure that's what he meant. If he said you're going to die young, then you should be worried.
Dmeister2008 3
Don't do anything dangerous or go near anything dangerous no telling what may happen
LO388 7
She might reach her final destination.