Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend announced he’s sleeping with someone else and he can’t take the distance anymore. I literally drive 12 hours to see him every weekend. I just took a week off to spend time up there with him. So basically he can’t go 5 regular days of the week without sex. FML
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he "couldn't handle the distance." He said he "couldn't commit to driving to see me long term." We live two hours apart, and I've driven to him every time; he never tried to come to me once. FML
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Top comments
graceinsheepwear 34
Dick move.
Nmaredia 4
At least you saw some action
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Comments (139)
ArmyDoc 11
Brb. Gotta go try something with my phone..
itooamscrewed 10
If you think 20 miles is a long drive, you're too young for sex anyways
kipfischer 11
Since when is 20 miles a distance....what was he in a horse and buggy
am_bugg 20
Considering the fact that 20 miles isn't far at all I would assume you guys see each other a lot so not getting intimate this one time shouldn't be that big of a deal. Plus you could've just grabbed it if you really wanted to start something.
alitzia_e123 7
20miles?
mybubbles2000 13
Wow's he's quite talented.
Witchylady 18
Now that's a skill. A real talent. I see an executive position at Apple in his future.
with_one_es 2
Wtf
saxybandgeek 14
20 miles isn't far... Most of my teachers in high school drove farther than that every day just to get to work. I'm sure he can travel that great distance again soon
lauras942012 4
I drive 50 to see my boyfriend And most times we don't have sex. It's worth it to see him and spend time with him.