Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend announced he’s sleeping with someone else and he can’t take the distance anymore. I literally drive 12 hours to see him every weekend. I just took a week off to spend time up there with him. So basically he can’t go 5 regular days of the week without sex. FML
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he "couldn't handle the distance." He said he "couldn't commit to driving to see me long term." We live two hours apart, and I've driven to him every time; he never tried to come to me once. FML
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Top comments
graceinsheepwear 34
Dick move.
Nmaredia 4
At least you saw some action
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Comments (139)
tehdarkness 21
If you didn't attempt to initiate then YDI.
buddy_J 16
20 miles isn't far
maxii290594 8
Swipe the "D" to unlock
King_paradox 22
Did anyone else happen to try this?
PixieNigma 1
I drive 42 miles, one way, to work every day... 20 miles is nothing...
KatyLarae 13
With the use of hands or without? That's the big question
NessaMae 19
If 20 miles is a distance to you or your boyfriend, I certainly wish I had the luxury to complain about it. At least its not hundreds or thousands.
BobbyRonaldo 7
Did it unlock using the touch sensor?
nurchok 15
This is sooooooo funny
babyseastar 5
My boyfriend lives nearly 50 miles away from me and we have sex pretty much every weekend. Suck for you!!