Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML
Assumptions
Today, I found out my boyfriend added his ex on Facebook and Instagram, all within a few days. Lucky me. FML
Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML
Sussy
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML
Tact and charm
Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
Today, after feeling fat and ugly and a bit depressed, I logged on to Facebook to see my boyfriend had posted "I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world!" I 'liked' it and commented "Aww thank you baby!" I logged in later to see that he commented back saying "I didn't mean you." FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to find out that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML
Top comments
bettyc4 26
Time for ... The Talk
Madrias 36
Facebook + Excited = instant YDI from me.
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Comments (123)
bettyc4 26
Time for ... The Talk
Pentium_4 27
oh man....you need a guy more interested than that
bettyc4 26
Not even a kiss sad sad very sad
Pentium_4 27
yes, too sad :/
mikepattonfan 0
Too sad
ScaughtieHolden 11
Maybe it's long distance.
airforce987 20
I'm thinking that it was probably an accident anyway...
bettyc4 26
I'm sure if it was long distance she would have typed it differently. The way it's portrayed here seems as if her boyfriend is lacking the physical affection she's looking for which makes a Facebook poke actually exciting
MineIsBigger 5
maybe she should suck another dudes dick. after all i hear it aint really cheating :P
bettyc4 26
What is and what isn't cheating should be discussed and decided by the couple when they begin their relationship but it's very common for it to be cheating when she "suck another dudes dick"
KeyboardWarrior 10
It was another FML reference, relax.
Meraklez1013 9
U kno 39 u seem like a very serious person like this is a website of fun nd ur like a freakin' robot u take everything seriously nd u correct people nd ur just very uptight I guess... R u sure ur on the right website??
bettyc4 26
Is it so wrong to help educate people a little? Or should I just let people make an ass out of themselves without a second thought? Cuz I'm more of the helping type and you are the first person to EVER call me uptight.. seriously unexpected ..still letting that sink in there
Kog_Hiro 17
You let them make an ass outta themselves. It helps create much funnier conflicts later on in the comments, and I do love reading the conflicts. But hey, that's my opinion.
ladyLALAA 29
It's the first time you've been called uptight... That you know of! :O
bettyc4 26
Seriously I'm never thought of as uptight in real life but that's funny as hell someone thought that here. Really made me laugh out loud. I'm showing everyone. best joke of the week XD
Meraklez1013 9
Ok how r u laughing about it nd wen I first cmmented (120) u were shocked that o one ever called u that nd u were letting it "sink in" either u faed the facts nd believe u r or u r just goig along with it?? Also Best joke of the eek is about u bing ptight... Very hilarious........ Hahahaha.....
Meraklez1013 9
oh i forgot something!! Since u don't recognize Sarcasm very well in typing form, I was being sarcastic at then end of the comment above me :D
bettyc4 26
Ya dude or chick...whatever you are with that bear after it sunk in I laughed really hard so did everyone I show it's in the group of most stupid things I heard since high school. Someone actually thinks I'm uptight hahaha
Niedermayer_20 12
Yikes ... Time to move on
Madrias 36
Facebook + Excited = instant YDI from me.
ICATiger 13
She would probaly ****** if he sent her a message.
GoW_Chick 15
Or tended to her crops on farmville
Nitrozoid 5
Your bf sucks!
AngrehPirate 0
Actually I believe that is her job.
22cute 17
I think maybe he isn't your boyfriend if you haven't touched in weeks. Just saying...
nephilim241 19
OPs bf might be serving overseas etc..
monkeywrench1 10
I'm pretty sure if that would be the case she wouldn't cry about it on FML or she would of mentioned it. :P
lil_ham1644 29
*would have
eb0ny 15
How sad. Maybe you should break up...
bitchpleasemike 7
that's not really a relationship...
SaMmIMonster96 6
I'm sorry OP, you need a better man. You know, one that will talk/touch you
music12 4
One that will talk you?
SaMmIMonster96 6
*talk to and/or touch* sorry I was running on like an hour of sleep
cgchamp89 7
You can run on sleep?
SaMmIMonster96 6
Idk, I was tired. Just keep it at that
sweetzombie88 0
Uh that's generally a bad sign unless he's got ED.
Justin23L 2
Really? Touching only involved his penis? What about a hug, a kiss, or even holding hands?
teague95 16
I don't wanna brag but I held hands last night. *relax ladies it's not serious
periwinkle95 10
I wish I could hold hands with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he's overseas:(
cgchamp89 7
I wish I could hold hands... But I don't have any.
nightrider1 0
Oh my god! I'm sorry to hear that. :/ that really sucks
Nataleena 1
I had a bf like that but I kicked him out and traded up. Get what you want.
japtch 15
Woah. Badass alert.
monkeywrench1 10
Reminds me to the song: "You can't always get what you want..."
goodgood_fml 5
You go girl!!
willb2107 0
I think that if poking is the most exciting thing, I'm assuming you haven't seen each other for weeks. I think it's over.
monkeywrench1 10
"Poking" can be a very exciting activity, if you know what I mean?! ;)
DrJesse 10
He "poked" her in the face(book). Is that a ******* in the cyber sex world?