NoPrivacy
United States
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
yuen
Australia
Not now, mate
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
not telling you my name
Elkhart, United States
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
Username
Brooklyn, United States
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
shittysongs
Bothell, United States
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Anonymous
Newcastle Upon Tyne, United Kingdom
SHAME! SHAME!
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Mandi
DELETE! DELETE!
Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML
Madridsta
Rialto, United States
Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML
PeePee
United States
We heard you
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
DonPedro
United States
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Taylor Page
Gainesville, United States
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
"You need a new job, you need a new job."
twifan1901 0
Why would you do that?
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Comments (128)
twifan1901 0
Why would you do that?
vinay111 1
Why would you do that at work?
sucessfultroll 18
why not?
The_Hitdude 12
My question is: Did he get a shit?
French_Toast_fml 3
Why would you make such an awful first comment?
The_Hitdude 12
My bad, that was supposed to be *she
shellz102 12
When you gotta go, you gotta go
happle 21
How does that affect the funny?
loser2207 15
Omigod...so I clicked ur profile coz I lik the pic...n ur exactly lik me... I'm a 13 yr old girl, gonna b 14 July 20. Was born in 98. Ur description is exactly like me...wow :)
nado13579 12
22-Why would you make such an awful 22nd comment?
Cad6 24
Why wouldn't you do that?
XtraEzeee 8
89- Your new here so I'll give you some advice. Log out of FML, go read a book, and don't come back until an intelligible comment comes out.
VictoriaSchultz 8
Instead of the potty dance, they got the shit song now.
Wheredidgrungego 12
"You need a new job, you need a new job."
rubberduckie94 13
"One that won't make you shit. One that won't make your bowels feel three feet thick."
Axipiter 24
One that makes me shit like I shit when I'm with you.
DogsPaw 16
For some reason I sang that out loud... If you sing like "Because I got high, because I got high" (Afroman) it makes a lot of sense.
ttttttyyy 0
DERP!
XtraEzeee 8
I sang it like Little Rascals. "I got a dollar, I got a dollar, I got a dollar hey hey hey."
PvtParts417 15
100- I've got two pickles, I've got two pickles, I've got two pickles hey hey hey.
IcyWeiner 0
Well.... Sometimes ya need a shit. Surely he understands this phenomena
gurly98 13
You don't yell that out loud!! Common sense
KMtheDrummer 6
I GOTTA POOP
fluorescentadole_fml 8
hehehe
Trisha_aus 15
What's wrong with that? U need a shit
iDaniel525 8
Catchy tune. Keep it to yourself next time.
ohmandapants 17
Well generally, when you sing in public, the people around you who aren't deaf can hear you...but I can see that you are surprised by this. I don't think this is that big a deal to be honest, depending where you work and what your boss is like...but in any case, I have to vote YDI.
chane1100 6
Canadians....
DrDilllonReese 12
You and anyone else who voted YDI are basically saying that she deserves it for having ears. She overheard somebody singing about shit. How is that her fault?
LoveMay 10
53- No, OP was the one singing about shit. Re read the FML.
DrDilllonReese 12
My bad, I have seen the error of my ways.
kellandj2019 7
No, she's actually saying it's the OP's fault for singing and you can't expect people to ignore it if you are
AustinL90 4
I hope your boss gives you the shit you need. :D
22cute 17
Definitely deserve shit for that!
PiXiq111 11
"You need a life, You need a life!"
PurpleCabbage 1
"You act live you've never taken a shit, never taken a shit.."
kellandj2019 7
you need to get a better photo, a better photo. You're the one that needs a life
Llama_Face89 34
Looks kinda like the kid who played 10 year old Michael Myers in Rob Zombie's Halloween remake.
dabomb1463 0
You should make that to into a song.
nessabbaayy16 0
hahaha that's what u get for saying it out loud!! :P
Mitcha857 0
Better than her doing the act of taking a shit loud!
nessabbaayy16 0
yeah that's true!
PurpleCabbage 1
Does everything need to end in an exclamation!
Mitcha857 0
^ *?!