Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML
Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML
Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML
Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PimpinPenguin 0
You should have cast an enlargement spell on him
JoeDotPadilla 0
It coulda been worse. He coulda been Voldemort.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (235)
audreyy062 2
epic cleverness
nachos99 0
At least it was memorable
lenamartinovic 13
Send me his number ;)
heyheyblonday 5
my best friend texted this to me and i asked him what it meant...right after i sent the text i realized he was a perrrvert:)
shadow2903 11
Being a huge Harry Potter fan, I laughed so freaking hard when I read this! Your boyfriend sounds geektastic and adorkable! You should be glad you have someone like him with such a sense of humor :)
peacesign13 0
Omg haha this just made my day!
kjcdk1 0
lolololololololol!!
kuulleo 1
dude why r you complaining THTS AWSOME .......... unless you dont like harry potter in wich case uhhhhhh wow
lindon555 0
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED
froggycutie22 4
dude that's ******* awesome