Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML
Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML
Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML
Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
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Top comments
PimpinPenguin 0
You should have cast an enlargement spell on him
JoeDotPadilla 0
It coulda been worse. He coulda been Voldemort.
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Comments (235)
candiighal1121 14
I find that cute maybe he was trying to ease the tension
xJo420 16
I wish!
meeyoyo 2
See this isn't a fml this is an awesome life that will be a great story one day!!!
Sydneyhehe 6
Hey I love Harry potter. That's how it should go. Would you rather be sleazy for Ron Weasley? Actually he didn't turn out that bad ;)
liveformusic_fml 3
Is it bad that I laughed at that?
Baelzebub 2
YDI cause you had sex with him anyway. People treat you the way you demand to be treated honey. If this is an example you have a long life of shame and humiliation ahead of you.
droxursox319 8
Well it seems by your wording you proceeded to have sex with him after that. Doesn't sound like an FML to me!
xXAlorraXx 11
/facepalm
camiscool 6
That is awesome! He deserves some kind of award!!!!
sigaweeds 7
Damn!!! U had ur kid at 42! No offense but that should b the FML right there