Today, I had my first sexual experience since going through a rough break up a month ago. The guy finished after 60 seconds of a blow job and then didn’t return the favor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML
Today, I had my first sexual encounter/kiss. I’m 37, which I know is a strange age for firsts. After blowing him for a bit, he started to f**k me, then went soft. He called it "whisky dick." Then he was on his phone. It took all of 30 minutes, then I was home again. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Mungolikecandy 19
A month is not really a long time after a rough breakup so congratulations on moving on just be a little bit more picky next time.
RichardPencil 32
That sucks. But only figuratively.
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Comments (6)
Chen Zhibang 8
Gone in 60 seconds....
RichardPencil 32
That sucks. But only figuratively.
Mungolikecandy 19
A month is not really a long time after a rough breakup so congratulations on moving on just be a little bit more picky next time.
griddy24 18
Brutal!
oldtimer 3
Well on the positive side it only was 60 seconds. When are you ladies going to learn that once the guy gets off you’re never going to get any satisfaction. Next time don’t give him any satisfaction until you get taken care of first. Many years ago when I was a young man a woman taught me this, and I was a much better lover from then on.