Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
Your boyfriend borrowed your dress, and you're only worried that he threw up on it? Uhh... I don't wanna be the one to tell you, but...
yusaku02 20
WTF is a jane norman?
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Comments (62)
stevenmx86 8
Oh no! Not jane norman! Vain douche...
Devin91 20
either yur bf is anorexic or yur fat just saying because thats weird that he fits into yur dress .
boatkicker 5
So what if OP is fat, or her boyfriend is THIN (seriously, what's with people calling thin/underweight people anorexic? Not cool. Anorexia is not the only cause of people being ridiculously thin.) Besides, her being fat or him being thin aren't the only options. I'm quite thin, my fiance is average sized, and I'm sure he could fit into my favorite dress. Funny thing about certain types of fabric is that they stretch. Another alternative, her boyfriend is short, and OP is tall. Assuming both are of average proportions, a shorter guy would also be smaller around than a taller one, and a taller woman would be larger.
neney666 0
he's a little on the skinny side
lottiebearx 10
Jane Norman clothes are notoriously small. Usually, they're made of non stretchy material - the sort of dresses that you can't just 'squeeze into' because halfway up your hips, you'd hear a crack and a rip and have to ask for help to be cut out. I believe that is what #39 was getting at. Anyway, anorexic is a common term for the terribly skinny, as crude as it may be.
boatkicker 5
I'm aware that it's a common term. That's why I posted that side rant. If it was just a one time thing, I would have made it a whole lot shorter. I don't approve, at all. Anyways, I've never heard of Jane Norman until this FML, and someone above said that it's only in the UK. Since I'm from the US, I have no way of knowing what sort of fabrics it'd be made of.
theman14234 0
wow it's hilarious how all the bitches complain about what type of dress it is just stfu nobody cares about ur opinion and ur guy is a cross dressing ******
gozar_fml 1
Good job Jane Norman, whoever you are. I wish I could put my name on some overpriced made in china crap and get rich off of selling it to suckers at 12,000 percent mark-up.
IHATERI 0
well when he woke up did u give him a high five?
DGAFprincess 0
you and your boyfriend wear the same size?
StaticSky 2
your boyfriend is an idiot!
neney666 0
don't i know it lol
smileyfairy10 0
it was probably blessing in disguise jane norman aren't famed for their beautiful dresses
Kennedy182 0
kinda worried about your bf being able to fit into your dress
sjoe789 0
he fits into ur Jane Norman dress... well ok then.....