Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML
Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML
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Top comments
BookBeast 0
Bow chicka bow-bow....
Eaglestrike117 29
Well, did you?
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Comments (91)
Eaglestrike117 29
Well, did you?
FreshSalad 1
Well it is called **** my life... So I'd assume so.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
/ , , / / ' - . ` ( ) / ` . - ' . - - _ ' ( ) ' _ - - . / / ` / ` " " ` ` | | > < | | / / ' .__ . ' HAPPY HALLOWEEENN!!!
tamie306 5
#25 you must have a lot of time on your hands...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I just copied and pasted it..
ImJustNotBlack 0
You got me handcuffed Locked up cardiac arrest baby Cuz I'm in love with you You got me handcuffed Dont stop tie me up right now baby That's all I wanna do
hannah1203 2
Truck drivers ftw
maddieclaire 0
Mrs. Officer?!
riceplum 0
sounds like the start of a porno
the_flirtt 0
49 good song
sweetcheeksjvl 0
hallloweeen
megaluke 0
k
chuchurocket 4
61 marry me
bravesfan112233 0
I love creepy guys
KingDingALing 9
I dig fat chicks. *Borat voice* NOT!
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
I'm a creepy guy... wait I meant girl! Grr... now I'm confused!!!
Selena_is_back 7
hahahahaha WTH?
chazzlerazzle 0
kinky haha
Dusk32 0
hahahaha
BookBeast 0
Bow chicka bow-bow....
KiddNYC1O 22
It's wow-wow.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Pow pow!
Selena_is_back 7
now now!
Uscdrew1 7
How now brown cow?
hairdreser0nfire 0
brown chicken brown cow?
hairt 4
howhow
gggfrt 0
Shamwow
tobyraza 0
oh wow
BRBsummer 9
Tacos!
wolfen6532 3
that made me laugh xD
undeadcorpseYAY 0
if you're not married you should of said yes. Don't just use your cuffs for Halloween!
theshocker09 1
I like your style
C6Racer 0
Agreed
amerwin 3
You have to pay to have your car fixed somehow. Beggars can't be choosers. It's time to swallow your pride and make that truck driver's day.
ShorTiE4LyFe 0
Swallow something else too! ;)
averageirishman 0
oh the humour on this site.
brndn92 0
she's goin to be swallowing a little more than pride. XD
bunniex1 11
-naive look- what else is she swallowing :o
yuggi1 11
Wee-woo!!! How is this an FML? At least he didn't turn to you and yelled at you for been a sick pervert.
yuggi1 11
Indeed #9, OP could had gotten some if she so pleased! ;)
mageoreh 0
replying to yourself is fun
mageoreh 0
it sure is #58!!
Smithjc84 0
Pics of your costume
lori_lovee 0
That's horrible #8! Lmfao.
zkchild 0
Make sure to get in there nice and deep like. Ummm Hmmmm
lacrossebabe23 4
Ur pic matches ur words....