Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
killabee 0
A voice coming from his pants? "OMG! That thing talks?!?! ...oh it's just my dad."
BadPinkKitty07 0
amazing... simply amazing. imma say YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
lilbyrd43 0
at least you didn't talk back to "the voice in his pants"
myfriend_youfail 3
So...you say "F my life" when it was your choice to be out later than you were allowed, just so you could play tonsil hockey in your boyfriend's car? And you're young enough that you get worried about being caught? My guess is that you're yet another overly-hormonal fourteen-year-old. [sarcasm] Real classy. [/sarcasm] YDI.
Baal952 0
Tonsil Hockey...Tonsil Hockey...Either your tonuge would have to be like Gene Simmons or you have no idea where your tonsils are.
myfriend_youfail 3
It's a turn of phrase. It refers to jamming one's tongue down another's throat in a gross, inexperienced parody of open-mouthed kissing.
Baal952 0
Couldnt you say deepthroating of the mouth...or the guys face if that way
myfriend_youfail 3
Because...."tonsil hockey" is acceptable slang where I live.... O_o
xxdannychaosxx 0
tonsil hockey is an old and widely used phrase.
Malinkrot 3
please god, don't ever let me become the type of person that only gets pleasure from insulting 14 year olds on the internet (in between eating cat food and riding around Walmart on a scooter).
myfriend_youfail 3
Haha it's not the ONLY thing that gives me pleasure, honey. Your mother is also pretty talented at supplying that. ;)
YeahFMLxX 0
(pats Malinkrot on the head) awe he called you honey! look at you!
deepdiver999 0
ugh what the **** I've pocket dialed people before but that's just terrible timing
tdawgheath 0
"Make out session". Kids have the most ****** up lingo ever. It reminds me of that Chappelle show episode though, where the lady's reading back what the babysitter said. "Shut up you little brats, my boyfriend is coming over now. We gonna have us a sex session." In fact. come to think of it, the fact that you got caught is like the exact same thing. Hilarious! Deserved.
eelreve_9393 0
wow .. some of you people are literaly too messed up. you try so hard to sound mature, by criticizing this girl and tell her all this stuff, when the truth is.. you probably are out there douing the same thing. get over your arrogant ass and leave her alone geeez.. leave the poor girl alone, she's prob already in trouble.
myfriend_youfail 3
Not all of us broke curfew to suck face in the back of a car when we were younger. I know I sure didn't! Just because you do it, doesn't mean everyone does it. :)
tahliho 0
thts cos ur probs to ugly to be sucking face with anyone
myfriend_youfail 3
Oh yes, you can tell I'm ugly from my profile picture, right? I'm gonna go cry now because some little ****-rag nobody on the Internet insulted me! MOMMYYYYY!
bhangu023 0
did u atleast have sex before u went home?
myfriend_youfail 3
EDIT: wrong post.
Sekococo 0
Same thing happen to me but it was in the middle of sex -.- thankfully my mom thought i was watching ****
infiniti_G 0
FIRST
Trooth 13
#31 just cuz you're immature doesn't mean you have to denature others so stfu. and op that's what you get for disobeying your parents...