Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, while making plans with my boyfriend, I told him we could have lunch after my appointment with the gynecologist. He started screaming, cussing and calling me a whore. According to him, women only go to the gyno if they have an STD, which I must’ve gotten from cheating. He’s an idiot. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, I shattered my ankle while mountain biking with my boyfriend. As I lay writhing on the ground, waiting for the ambulance, he traced the outline of my thigh and said, "You should get this suctioned out while you're in the hospital." FML
Today, I sprained my bicep. The urgent care doctor told me to take it easy on weight lifting. When I told him I hurt myself holding a book, he had to leave the room because he couldn’t stop laughing. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
He might be confusing "crotch" with "****". He must be terrible at spelling.
Fireashes250 16
He probably thinks that a crotch is just male genitals. Still pretty dumb to think about, HE'S A MED STUDENT.
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Comments (100)
papasik 6
his school professors of anatomy and gynecology will sure love to hear it from him.
aaaa_fml 13
It's not as if "crotch" is a really scientific term.
DocBastard 40
With all due respect, I probably would have called you a clueless idiot too. No one says "I pulled a muscle in my crotch", you say "in my groin". In technical terms, the crotch is the naughty bits and the groin is the muscles and stuff surrounding the crotch. Get it? Good.
Kukironosuke 16
no you are wrong, crotch does not mean private parts, its the slang term for groin crotch = groin, the area around which the private parts go crotch & groin both mean the area between the legs below the stomach
Ceruleanst 5
It's not even slang, really. A crotch is the inside of the forking of any bifurcated form; it is ordinary to refer to the crotch of a tree, for example. "Groin" is specifically anatomical, but your groin is a crotch by definition unless you have no legs.
Nyx_fml 23
Do not fear, people. I have decided to make a little experiment in the name of science. Google gave me 11,300 results for "I pulled a muscle in my crotch", and 25,100 results for "I pulled a muscle in my groin". So, even though the medical term is "groin", people obviously do use the word "crotch". It makes me wonder, if "crotch" was actually only a term for the "naughty bits", then does that mean that pants have naughty bits too, because they have a crotch? Science brings so many questions.
DocBastard 40
After over a decade in medicine I've never once heard anyone say "I pulled my crotch". Until now.
Nyx_fml 23
Well, I would imagine them saying "I pulled my crotch" if they were jerking off, but they might not want to tell their doctor about it.
mansen 15
Technically, the ****** is a muscle. Located in the aforementioned naughty bits area, also called the crotch. So, just to be an ass, one, or I, could say the OP somehow could have in some way injured her muscles in her vaginal area, the canal, etc; and instead of using the technical term, just said crotch.
feelingold 18
46 I applaud your knowledge. That you also showed up the Doc is just an added bonus.
Eire17 15
What an idiot... :|
unlucky_lucy 17
The future is in the hands of your boyfriend... Someone needs to change that
scourgeroxs 4
Well he may think the word 'crotch' refers to '****' very stupid mistake I must say but you have to get it thought his thick skull that its not just a dick
perdix 31
"Crotch" is not a medical term, and med students need to cram their crania full of medical knowledge and don't have room for anything else. You'll just have to wait until he's in residency before you can refer to your "junk."
chosha_fml 27
Encourage him to tell that story to his med school friends.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Since he doesn't think girls have crotches, deny him access to yours.
Poetaster 10
I sense a divorce....
FrankHotpants 31
If you have to divorce your boy/girlfriend then I'm in some trouble.