Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, while making plans with my boyfriend, I told him we could have lunch after my appointment with the gynecologist. He started screaming, cussing and calling me a whore. According to him, women only go to the gyno if they have an STD, which I must’ve gotten from cheating. He’s an idiot. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, I shattered my ankle while mountain biking with my boyfriend. As I lay writhing on the ground, waiting for the ambulance, he traced the outline of my thigh and said, "You should get this suctioned out while you're in the hospital." FML
Today, I sprained my bicep. The urgent care doctor told me to take it easy on weight lifting. When I told him I hurt myself holding a book, he had to leave the room because he couldn’t stop laughing. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
He might be confusing "crotch" with "****". He must be terrible at spelling.
Fireashes250 16
He probably thinks that a crotch is just male genitals. Still pretty dumb to think about, HE'S A MED STUDENT.
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Comments (100)
Nyx_fml 23
He might be confusing "crotch" with "****". He must be terrible at spelling.
Cleu 12
If this all happened in writing then it probably woulda been bad handwriting rather than spelling.
michaelaranda 28
Hes not confusing anything. Girls dont have crotches, they have cooties.
K410 18
I better hope he isn't practicing to be a gynaecologist.
feelingold 18
54 - you think if a girl pulls a muscle in her groin she sees a gynaecologist? you're as confused as OP...
Caitie_kid 8
76, I think he was referring to the fact that op's bf doesn't think girls have crotches.
bfsd42 20
76, oh the irony.
ms_YoungMula 8
I've never heard doctors use that term to describe genitals anyway
daesung 8
How stupid can he be?
AnOriginalName 19
Unfortunately, I know several people like that, especially people who aspire to join the medical field in the future. They can memorize a textbook perfectly well, but they completely lack "common" sense.
Jake_Hale 7
Stupid? Wait...women have crotches? ... I need a drink.
Welshite 40
#17: I'm betting you've never even seen one. Everything begins to make sense.
Jake_Hale 7
I'm obviously being sarcastic... Sheesh
bethers_ 22
As a med student myself, I can concur that I have seen and heard some pretty stupid things. Don't be surprised!
spikekutter 9
that was my point in sarcasm..
asparagus12 21
Why is everyone calling him stupid when the narrator called her groin injury a crotch injury. Crotch isn't even a medical term. It is slang. He should be posting about how stupid his girlfriend is.
lysx84 24
Using slang doesn't change your anatomy. Just because she didn't use a proper medical term doesn't mean she doesn't have one. Oh, and she's not the med student so perhaps we can forgive her terminology?
FightMyLiger 19
Another trend is claiming to be a 'med student' in your freshman year of college. Taking Biology 100 and aiming towards medicine does NOT a med student make.
Fireashes250 16
He probably thinks that a crotch is just male genitals. Still pretty dumb to think about, HE'S A MED STUDENT.
Somefruits 24
Yes but being a med student doesn't necessarily mean he has to know slang/colloquial terms for the genitals. Just the proper medical terms.
roadie42 21
@94 I don't know about you, but I prefer my doctors to have COMMON SENSE. "Crotch" is as much of a slang term as "armpit", and if doctors aren't required to know what those are either, we're screwed.
sman640 6
don't you mean "in his future"
perdix 31
#4, people dating medical students often hang on like pitbulls in the hopes they will get the lifestyle of the doctor's spouse. It's like hitting the lottery and becoming royalty all at once.
KK3137 31
Or, perhaps she actually really likes her boyfriend despite his crotch mess up..
imtooshy 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If girls don't have crotches am I safe to assume that not only is he a pylon but you two haven't had sex yet? SHOW him your crotch!! You might be spending more time in court in the future rather than in the bedroom. Sorry OP.
iAlissa 34
Yes the only way to prove OP is correct is by showing him her crotch. She probably has more wits and self respect than that.
imtooshy 18
Pretty sure everyone but her bf knows she's correct, it's called sarcasm for **** sakes.
vipirius 18
I'm pretty sure he knows girls have crotches, he just doesn't know they are called that.
darwinism 30
Dr. Nick?
Allornone 35
"Hi everybody!"
Metal_Chick 15
"Hi Dr. Nick!"
Bloodjoker 11
Sounds like someone cheated off the Asian kid :-P
Bloodjoker 11
Apparently the moderators are racist against Asians lol or can't tell the difference between stereotypes and general comedy lol
The_9th_Doctor 18
well I know one Doctor I'm not going to.
Maxus1221 11
You wouldn't need one
molzipan 16
I must admit the 9th Doctor is probably one of the only Doctors I'd go to ;)
ColdplaySucks 18
9th doctor = the best doctor.
snerfle 5
Calling someone a "clueless idiot," whether they're right or wrong, is a rude thing to do. To say that to your gf is a jerk thing to do. Now couple that with him actually being the clueless idiot. OP, keep an eye on this one. I won't say drop him over one idiotic thing, but be aware of patterns. If he tends to be cruel and stupid, do you really want him a part of your future? I wouldn't even want him as my doctor.
DocBastard 40
I find it perfectly valid and appropriate to call clueless idiots "clueless idiots". But then, I'm kind of a bastard.