Today, I shattered my ankle while mountain biking with my boyfriend. As I lay writhing on the ground, waiting for the ambulance, he traced the outline of my thigh and said, "You should get this suctioned out while you're in the hospital." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my boyfriend because he decided to run over my foot with his new fancy bike. I think my foot's broken. We can't afford the bike, much less the ER bill with it. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML
Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML
Today, I decided to take my girlfriend out to look at Christmas lights and get hot chocolate. While cleaning my snow-covered truck, I slipped and broke three bones in my ankle, and now need surgery. FML
Today I ran across the street to help a woman who had fallen off her bicycle. While running, I tripped and broke my arm. Surgery is needed. FML
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Top comments
Hangryko 32
*ex-boyfriend
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, while you're there you might as well get liposuction, a Brazilian butt lift and, heck, why not a boob job? You don't get many great opportunities like this!
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Comments (7)
Hangryko 32
*ex-boyfriend
Thaylok 17
Is he real bad with social clues? Some people truly don't comprehend that a statement like that is uncalled for in a good time (unless honestly asked for). He may be one who just speaks what he is thinking. So, he needs to be told how and why it was inappropriate to say that. Plus, that is totally a different specialty who would address that topic.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, while you're there you might as well get liposuction, a Brazilian butt lift and, heck, why not a boob job? You don't get many great opportunities like this!
Brightside86 31
Liposuction on thighs is actually pretty affordable 2-4k. Maybe go for it, you work hard and deserve to have a thigh gap don't you?
RichardPencil 32
And for mountain bikers, it's not just an aesthetic thing, a thigh gap lets your legs conform to those miserable uncomfortable seats.
Shzusuziq11 12
His nose would need to be fixed after I punched him in it after a comment like that!
vchan 20
So you should take the risk inherent to all surgeries just because he said so? If you are able to go mountain biking, you must have a healthy weight…. Do only what YOU want to do, and stay with people who love you how you are.
tiptoppc 21
I’m fat and mountain bike! Gravity carries me downhill. The 2-cycle engine carries me uphill!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
And that's when you used your non-broken ankle to kick him in the crotch, right? And then promptly dumped him.