Today, my boyfriend and I got robbed. He was so depressed about all the stuff we lost, I decided to cheer him up with a lap dance. I told him to sit on a chair. We have no furniture left. He started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the hotel lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML
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Top comments
mssileas 25
If they robbed you to the point where you don't even have a chair to sit on, I'm going to go with your boyfriend's reaction. Some things are worthy and necessary to cry about in order to eventually move on, this seems like such an occasion.
nathan10mlse 7
the fact that you didn't seem too upset about the matter makes me think that He's the provider and maybe you don't recognize the severity of the situation
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Comments (12)
mssileas 25
If they robbed you to the point where you don't even have a chair to sit on, I'm going to go with your boyfriend's reaction. Some things are worthy and necessary to cry about in order to eventually move on, this seems like such an occasion.
RichardPencil 32
When the prospect of receiving your lap dance causes tears, you need to move on from that relationship and maybe take a pole-dancing class or two.
nathan10mlse 7
the fact that you didn't seem too upset about the matter makes me think that He's the provider and maybe you don't recognize the severity of the situation
LostSoul 20
Some people realize there are more important things than money and things.
kfchicken 31
they didn't even have chairs left lol. it's not just "things" it's everything
Alexander Hegner 6
I would agree if they didnt steal their furniture
BeefyQueefy 14
Oh f off with your embellishments. Robbers don't steal chairs, they steal things of value. Besides, there's the toilet if you're brave
LostSoul 20
It depends on the type of chair. I have seen people have food stolen. Times are hard.
LostSoul 20
It depends on the type of chair. I have seen people have food stolen. Times are hard.
1known 34
Your boyfriend should be thankful to have a girlfriend who can see the half full glass. Good for you op!