Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
At least you'd make it on 1000 Ways To Die.
dantee2005 33
Well, nothing for me to say "cockcicle" says it all
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Comments (128)
ArielTheMermaid 17
I've tried flavor condoms just out of curiosity. I don't think they're that good
thenewgirl29 20
I don't understand how a ******* could be enjoyable for a guy while wearing a condom. Isn't the slobbery mess of it, the appeal?
A07 48
Somebody give this woman a medal!
MikeyScene420 17
Where do you buy these?
Jennaflamingo 14
That was one of those things I wish I hadn't of read
sjonnemans 3
almost half that's a little over a quarter to death? not really worth writing about then i'd say
JayThrntn 9
Sounds like you did a good job then!
Harrison38 5
suck dick dont inhale I mean shit
underguarded 20
I never understood condoms and blow jobs. It's not like you can get pregnant from swallowing
the_real_dvd 21
You sound like a keeper. Seriously.
Butwhymeagain 12
Never mind bout deep throat then?