Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
At least you'd make it on 1000 Ways To Die.
dantee2005 33
Well, nothing for me to say "cockcicle" says it all
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Comments (128)
sugarbear0727 19
Lmfao
vandeele 8
Yuck...
Jam3zBond007 5
Profile Picture.
The_Big_Boss 20
Imagine bacon flavored condoms
arinmon 5
for guys?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Am I the only one who wants to know how you 1) Almost choke yourself and 2) how one can choke themselves half to death? How does one even know that they are actually half way to death. Plus even if the OP somehow stupidly sucked long enough and deep enough that she actually caused herself to pass out her boyfriend would have noticed and pulled himself out so that she could breathe again.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I could edit in time to add this but surely you can't "Almost choke half to death". I would think that you either choked enough to risk death or you didn't. This seems like the OP just went too deep a few times and set off the gag reflex.
Wolf87535 4
jealous much?
GangstaPenguin 7
Um, I'm pretty sure she was just using exaggeration, about the "halfway to death" thing. Or, maybe she can feel herself slipping away from lack of oxygen? Either way, asking how someone knows they're halfway to death is pointless.
Gemini_Wings 7
Condoms are for ****** and sick people.
lux0rd 18
Or normal people having safe sex...
ForbiddenDestiny 20
My dad walked in on me and a friend both sucking on a flavoured condom each with a used pile infront of us because we wanted to know our favourite flavours before trying them on boys and finding that a specific flavour made us want to hurl and making the poor guy feel bad. My dad looked at us confused for a moment before telling is food was ready x
Typicall 21
Awkward ...
worldclassrager 41
My girlfriend uses those instead of bubble gum...and they are intended for oral...
P_M95 8
Wow fail, YDI
usernameblocked 8
"I almost choked half to death of a strawberry cockcicle" is the greatest sentence ever concocted.
gc327072 31
11- she had never encountered latex , even at a doctor's office?